Belittlement and exclusion on GTQ
- Locked due to inactivity on May 29, '22 3:54am
Thread Topic: Belittlement and exclusion on GTQ
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Not trying to lay it on thick, but I woke up today thinking about this and it really bothered me so I wanted to talk about it!
First of all I've been pretty inactive lately because I needed to let my social battery recharge, so if you asked something of me just know I'm getting on it now and I'm sorry for the delay.
I care about the community.. If you feel like you have been belittled or bullied in any way this is the spot for you to talk about it.
When I first joined the site in 2013/14 I was not popular at all. My opinions on things were very different than they are now and people didn't like it. I had a lot of growing up to do so for me honestly seeing the same people who were indifferent towards me or Lowkey dislike me ask to be my friend and have good conversations with me now is incredible!
I notice a lot of people bothered by being excluded from "community events" and talking about feeling unwanted. I totally understand how upsetting that is, and want to be a part of the change to make GTQ a more welcoming place.
Here's my thought on the matter.. I can't help but wonder if you feel like you're constantly being excluded, maybe it's because you haven't spent a lot of time talking to the active user base. People can't include you if they don't really know who you are.
So that brings me to my final point. If I don't know you very well introduce yourself to me! I get that sometimes it's hard to be the one to reach out first so here's my olive branch. I don't want to be a part of the problem of exclusion here so I'd love to build better relationships with all of you! I get that it's hard when you're introverted or scared of being rejected. -
I mean I was not really respected that much(and it is probably all my fault), but ig I just needed to grow? My opinions on certain topics have not changed, I just learned how to talk about it better
And I totally get you, I am not popular lol. This is a good thread that I think a lot of people need -
Dude personally I love you The1forU! I think you're such a breath of fresh air and I love that you are passionate about your believes. I think you make GTQ a more lighthearted place and you've brought a lot of fun to the community.
My beliefs were very similar to yours when I was 14. I grew up in a Christian conservative household and still see a lot of the value in a lot of those beliefs. I personally changed my beliefs because they didn't reflect me anymore as I grew up but I respect you and I hope you don't feel like I've made your opinions out to be irrelevant. I know I might have made some off comments to you in the past so I want to apologize if I've made you think I dislike you. I actually really enjoy talking to you about your beliefs and mean no disrespect -
Oh ok thanks
What was gtq like before I was here? -
Very similar. The culture has changed a little bit that's mostly a reflection of the times. The internet was a simpler place then years ago. Memes were different, the political sphere was different. I'd say trolling was more rampant and so was attention seeking behaviours like threatening suicide or faking your death.
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I think the new tools mods have help and also it seems that mental illness is becoming a safer topic for people to discuss and reach out without feeling belittled.
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I dont think Ive ever really been excluded here. I mustve joined at the right time or something, because a lot of other new people joined when I did. I think it was almost like a wave or newbies or something?
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They do tend to come in waves! You tend to associate more with the people who joined when you did too. All bonded over the same experience or something I guess. I'm low-key excited for the next wave of new users. I love meeting people
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@mint thank you!
@cham noice. Why do you guys think that they come in waves? -
I dont know if its a coincidence, but I joined with users like Spice and a ton of people who have left or become inactive.
I think that its hard to exclude like 6+ new users, so I guess the community just kinda HAD to welcome us all in. -
I mean, I think i have been excluded a few times before, but like, not excluded to the point where I just leave the site.
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See, in some cases I think exclusion is fine. I.e I don't want to interact heavily with users who are transphobic or homophones, because im both trans and gay
While some users might not want to interact with me because I make them uncomfortable.
That kind of thing, Imo is valid, and completely normal.
No one should be forced to include someone they aren't comfortable with.
However, exlcuding someone " just because" is horrible, petty and we should honestly stop with that kind of thing. So I definitely see you there!
I just wanted to put my opinion out there for any younger people who feel they need to interact ( even irl!) With people who make them uncomfortable. -
I don't think I've ever been formally introduced to you, Trem! Tell me about yourself
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I agree and see your point August! If a user seems open to discussion about certain things I think it's important to discuss it with them in a way that is not demeaning or makes them feel bad, but if they're set in their opinion you have no obligation to interact with people who upset you, so long as you can respect them as an individual within reason.
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Exactly!
The way to deal with a bigoted user isn't to witch hunt them, or harass them. It's to simply ask if they're open to education or simply? Don't interact.
It isn't your job to edcuate someone, but most of the people on here with out dated, and harmful views are children. Children who will grow put of it 9/10.
It's better to treat them with respect and not to engage
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