the hole that seems bottomless
- Locked due to inactivity on Dec 19, '21 3:54am
Thread Topic: the hole that seems bottomless
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did you ever really give a f---? or was it all just for entertainment?
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another day, i guess
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work killed me, so not looking forward to it again
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It's been a while. I just wanted to say hi.
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heyo, hows it been?
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you were in more of a relationship with your friends, and my best was never good enough for you. thats not my fault, ive come to see. its your loss, though i doubt you care. you never gave a s--- about me, just having a little plaything. well, f--- you. i have feelings and thoughts and pretending to be sensitive towards them isnt a good plan. at least you havent come up to me, but i wish i didn't have to wonder. whatever. you were always happier without me, anyway. and it's been pretty clear how much our relationship meant to you, when it was everything to me. i hate you, i wish you'd feel all the pain i did. i hate you for protecting yourself and distancing rather than trying to be mature about it. maybe we couldve had a decent breakup but of course not, and of course it's my fault. i hope youre happy now, but i also hope the worst happens to you. im sorry i wasnt happy enough for you or more upbeat, im sorry i couldnt mask my depression or just play some video games and be fine. i wanted something real but clesrly you didnt want the same, but next time dont string someone along for two years thinking its real just to leave them because you cant handle them at a low point. you never loved me because if you did you wouldve had a shred of decency towards me. go live a happy, normal life. sorry i got in the f---ing way.
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stop acting like some hurt animal. you made the decision to protect yourself by not talking to me at all about it and dumping me right when i woke up after a sold out night at work. all you did was use me to feel better about yourself and now you want to act like youre in pain? youre the one who lost feelings for me, remember? i never stopped loving or caring about you and for the past like 2 months ive been commenting on how you were drifting away and i could tell you wanted to be anywhere else other than with me. next time dont f---ing gaslight me and say its nothing, its in my head. it was very clearly something that you didnt want to deal with and then decided it was best to let it die and blame it on that. people are insecure for a reason and you proved almost every one of mine to be accurate. so stop acting coy, stop acting hurt. you're fine. even id youre sad its because you miss the relationship, not me. i was always affectionate and i always put you first but of course im the bad guy, im always the bad guy. id say it to your face, f--- you. just stop.
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im f---ing sick of blaming myself, it wasnt my fault. i probably shouldve asked about a break, but i thought shed get upset about me wanting to leave. even if it was for a little. but this whole time i spent coddling her, i neglected myself. i treated her like a queen and only ever thought about her. but this is what i get, dumped and exiled. i cant even sit at the same place in breakfast because its all you and your friends
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f--- you
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