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- Locked due to inactivity on Sep 24, '21 3:54am
Thread Topic: No Subject
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Oh my god does saying that make me an incel no I don’t want to be an incel I don’t have incel core values I think I’m just asexual like I thought I was when I was a teenager before I tried proving myself I wasn’t
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I smell ghost girls perfume on my sweater she smells like winter cookies fresh out of the oven hm.
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I might pull a 180 and go back to being emo remember when I had the hair all over my eyes and had my photos catfished on the internet holy s---
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I’m just kidding I’d rather shave my entire head than go back to having my hair in my face ugh and with all the piercings I have I would look like a hot topic employee or a try hard teen and i would just get reminded of teenage me who had no sense of identity yet
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Those pictures are still out there online I try to avoid anything that features emo boys. The last thing my mental health needs is pictures of me wearing lip rings FRESH after getting my piercings done for pictures even though I was specifically told to not change your snake bite piercings right now they need to heal first
Great job at following directions I still have them though but they’re the regular default ones why am I talking about this at least I’m not breaking down anymore -
Wait important disclaimer so I don’t get banned for emotional manipulation I am not going to barcode my wrists again like when I was a teenager for lack of better words or attempt to kms again please don’t ban me
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Am I a mess
Yes
Do I know what my plan is to deal with all of this
No
Am I trying to put anybody under emotional stress
No
I am just ranting and anxious -
I am at arms length from graduating and possibly getting a job promotion I don’t plan on offing myself.
I do plan on making changes about myself and how i deal with things
But no I am not trying to get attention or do self harm. I’m just stressed. Worse case scenario I call out of work at zumiez because dollar tree is falling apart and I can’t do that and I cry in my bed for a few days while I try to fix myself back into a normal functioning me. -
Keep in mind I literally just got in contact with my mother after years of having her out of the picture and got my mental world rocked with some things I never knew. I’m pretty sure you would also spiral if you had this happen to you. Apologies in advance if I missed any recent posts or triggered anybody
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Something i will never understand is why people cry or break down when they start losing followers online tiktok girl just got off FaceTime with me crying because she has lost 2,000 followers and she doesn’t know why. It might be because your content is repetitive idk though. I wasn’t about to explain to her that I am not in the mood to listen to her cry about that because I guess we each have our own issues but crying over a number ?
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No but now that I think about it that type of mass unfollowing only happens if you are starting to get cancelled did somebody leak conversations or something regarding her or is it my repetitive content theory
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One of the core memories I have in my brain for some reason is when we had just moved to the us after living in New Zealand and I had my own room and I was super happy because America and it was about 9 pm and I turned on my tv and a puppet show channel was the only thing working. It wasn’t a good show it frankly freaked me out but I wanted background noise so I left it on. I was also about 9 I believe so yeah weird. Whenever I remember that memory I feel weird. Like those pictures you see online that everyone has seen in their dreams at least once with the indoor swimming pool and water slide . Unsettling
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I’m going to sleep my phone is at three percent
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Shut the f--- up I don’t want to hear you whispering or talking in your sleep I don’t like you.
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I can’t believe he has the audacity of stopping by after he found out we found out my mom’s side of events.
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