A poem thread for me, Br0wnieBunny.
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:26pm
Thread Topic: A poem thread for me, Br0wnieBunny.
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Yes, I do poems now.
My heart beats in a steady pace
as I turn to see your beautiful face.
My mind and thoughts in a desperate chase,
I can't take it anymore.
I count the days, sunrise, and sunset,
One, two, three, four.
I've been holding this in for too long
it's time you know about the song
of romance you and I created.
But now it's broken apart,
lost and forever scattered.
It's no use anymore, it's no use.
And that is simply the truth.
Post feedback if you want to though. -
I am the tigress
queen of all the rest.
I dance through the fire
my soul is a shimmering light.
I have the energy to do as I please,
don't take your chances and bow down to me.
Inspired by Katy Perry's "Roar". -
My soft kitty,
warm kitty.
My little ball of fur.
It is a happy kitty,
sleepy kitty,
purr purr purr.
Her tail goes swish,
look at this bish!
Listen to her meow
and I go wow.
Her ears will pin
and cats will win
because they are..
awesome~
Cats are awesome, so don't blame me. -
They are good poems if you ask me.
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Oh thank you!
They just come from the top of my head, though.
Pencils, papers
any takers?
I want to go home.
This class is boring,
I'mma snoring..
..sitting in this desk
I feel so alone. -
...
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Good! You're an awesome poet-- much better than me when I make up poems on the spot!!
In the chill of the night
I stand, facing the moon
Shrouded by wisps
Of dusk twilight gloom
But still I doth reign
In this dreary existence
As the world stops spinning
The fiery stars seem tense
Controlling the world
I feel it in my veins
That till the morning sun
I still doth reign
In this dreary existence
I have known as Earth
I will shatter it all
Till the day's rebirth -
SFOSIHAIO
You're way better than me!
I just look around the room and write a poem about what I see so randomly and just rhyme it. But here's a poem with true meaning.
I make the sun go down
and the moon rise up
in the gleaming sky.
My attitude hangs low
in the depths of darkness
while my spirit soars way up high.
I try to be happy and smile a little
but it never really works that well.
People say that my perkiness is fake
I might as well hide in the blazing heat of hell.
It's were I belong because I have no heart
I never really did from the start.
I try to fake an attitude just to get friends
but it didn't work either in the end. -
Good morning, good morning,
the sunshine is up and alive
good morning, good morning,
oh how good it is to feel alive~ -
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What is wrong with these ricked chimes?
They do nothing but make me cry.
As tear by tear falls down my face,
my heart beats in such a race.
I fall to my knees and pray
that tomorrow will be a better day.
These wicked chimes that make me cry
I don't know why that you try
to stumble my hopes and dreams.
It really all is a haunted song,
trying to get to me, it seems.
But I have to keep my head up,
head up high,
and it'll boost my happiness
to the limits of the sky. -
Halloween,
I'm a teen.
I'm going to scare everyone I see.
The thrill makes me happy,
I don't know why people get so snappy.
Halloween,
I'm a teen.
I'm going to scare everyone I see. -
IHLAOY NewbieMy inner Poe is rolling in his grave; and I'm sure the real one is moving to match.
Just because you separate something into stanzas and make every second word rhyme doesn't mean you're a poet. You need theme! You need rhythm! You need an iambic scheme, and an analysis and a measured and precise word choice!
(And while it is true that poems can come in all words and prose, that is not true while writing a sonnet, where the rhythm and sound of words are more important that explaining your meaning and destroying the established scheme.)
I mean, I want to give a proper review of this, but I honestly don't know where to begin. You have no concept of pentameter, the theme of every poem is simple and explained within the poem, the rhyming scheme is dull and predictable and at times it seems as if you're not even trying and would be better just writing a blog post about how you feel.
It's embarrassing. -
Can I ask why all the blank posts between poems? Are you lacking inspiration, bumbling the thread, or waiting for praise?
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Nice poems
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