Tell us your own best joke
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:26pm
Thread Topic: Tell us your own best joke
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Whisperinthewind Newbie
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So this guys working in the produce department in the grocery store and a lady walks up and she says: Excuse me.
He says: Yes?
She says: Wheres the broccoli? I cant find the broccoli.
He says: Oh, I'm really sorry ma'am. We ran out of broccoli, we'll have some tomorrow morning.
And he goes back to his work and hes stacking the oranges and and he hears behind:
Mister Mister!
And he turns around and its the same lady, and she says: Wheres the Broccoli? You got any broccoli?
He says: No, ma'am, we're fresh out of broccoli. But we'll Ill have some tomorrow morning.
And he goes back to work.
A couple of minutes later, this woman walks up right in his face and she says: How come I cant find any broccoli?!
He says: Lady, ah, do me a favor, will you.
She says: What?
He says: How do you spell how do you spell cat? Like in Catastrophic?
She says: C-A-T.
He says: (thumbs up) How do you spell dog? Like in dogmatic?
She says: D-O-G.
He says: How do you spell f--- like in Broccoli?
She say: There is no f--- in Broccoil!
He says: Thats what Im trying to tell you lady! -
ForeverUnloved Newbie8
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So a girl calls her school and this is the conversation:
Office: Hello?
Girl: My daughter won't be at school today.
Office: Why is that?
Girl: I I mean she is sick.
Office: Who is speaking?
Girl: My mom. -
So a boy walks up to this girl and says "Whats up?" And she says "The sky" He laughs a little bit and tries to ask again. "So what have you been doing lately?" And she replies "Breathing." And he decides to try one more time "So whats been going on?" And she replies "Life." He was starting to get frusturated so he asks "Are you smoking something?" And she replies "No, but yesterday I smoke cooked a steak." Its not really a joke at all. I just find it amusing. My brother says its retarded.
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ONG CALYSTA! I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN FOREVER!
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A little girl walks into the pet store with a breath of song on her lips.
The cashier walks over to her thoughtfully and smiles, "Hi there! What would you like today?"
The little girl smiles back and replies, "A want a cute wittle bunny wabbit, please!"
The cashier chuckles. "Sure thing, little cutie!" He then asks, "What kind of rabbit?"
The girl kept smiling and replies, "I don't think my thnake will give a thit." -
-Why did the chicken cross the road?
-To die. -
(No offense to blondes, who are truly awesome)
So a blonde goes to the store and picks out an item she wants. Then she takes it to the cashier and asks: "Excuse me, can I please buy this TV??"
"Sorry," the cashier replies. "We don't sell to blondes."
The next day the blonde came back, picked out the same item and went up to the cashier with it. "Excuse me, may I please buy this TV??"
"Sorry," the cashier replied once again. "we don't sell to blondes."
Then the blonde decides to disguise herself by dying her hair brown. Then she goes back to the store and picks out the same item. She goes up to the cashier and asks impatiently, "Excuse me, sir, can I please buy this TV?!!"
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," the cashier replies with a shrug.
"How did you know I was a blonde?!!"
"This... is a microwave."
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