New Girl, New Life. ( Part One) | Comments

I agree with all the pevious comments. I'd also like to add: please watch your spelling and grammar, nothing annoys me more than when a person writes should of instead of should have. It's incorrect. There's a difference. Well done for your first attempt though :) *I mean no harm in any way, only trying to help. Please don't feel offended

Well, just for constructive critisism, i didnt like it because it was too predictable and its weird that the dudes are already in love with her without getting to know apollo. I think she should like try to cheat on them both then get caught up in her own lies, now that's original!

This is a very cool story. I must admit, though, I wish you'd describe the main character of Apollo, as I haven't seen a description of her yet. Keep writing though. The story has potential.

Very good so far! It was a bit confusing at first, try to be a bit more descriptive. Please explain what the other guys look like,I'm dying to know! Great quiz!

Nice Callie! Go more into detail though...

Great start!!! How am I supposed to choose between two guys?

Amazing can't wait for part 2

It's okay, I guess. But the plot is cliche and all the names are, too.