hudson me boy
Thread Topic: hudson me boy
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i still miss my old self tho
i feel like im missing something, but it’s so HARD to piece together. -
i don’t hate myself, i just know i can do better
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in fact. i’d go so far as to saying i love myself, and i love everyone around me!!! who’s not purposefully a jerk to others of course
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“you're not too far gone. those qualities you miss are still part of you, they’ve just gotten quieter”
this hurts my heart. never knew how easily adaptable humans really were. i was alone for so long my brain literally shifted focus from other people to myself, so nowadays im just always self conscious
i hope things are better by the end of the year. they have to be otherwise im not sure what else ill do. im doing everything i can manage to get out of this loop, and i think im doing well, but im not so sure cud the progress im making isn’t half as quick as id like -
i got a super sudden urge to start another story i probs won't finish lol
i wanted all my main characters to each be their own protagonists, but tbf i adore limited third char perspectives so big oof :( another day frfrf -
so, character introduction heree
the main concept of the characters (thrain, grimstone, valor, and blake) is that thrain's a skinwalker who used to be a human
he has two forms, a buck and a bony, lanky pale boi, and he prefers his buck form over his true form cud he hates himself
his character arc would be abt guilt, self-forgiveness, morality, and survival
then there's grimstone, a huge wolf boi who turns to stone during the day but comes alive at night.
he used to be the king of the forest he resided in until thrain came and either ate all the livestock/community living inside it or scared them off. grimstone doesn't rlly like thrain, but grimstone's also like an old stereotypical mentor, so he does his best to help thrain even tho thrain would bash his head into the nearest wall if he ever got the chance.
his character arc would be abt honor, isolation, and the weight of leadership
valor and blake's stories i wanna explain in the story i HOPE i finish, but def won't, lol
valor's is abt greatness, downfall, and the thin line between vision and madness (bro fell in love w a star frfr no cap couldn't be me)
then blake's would be identity, family, and responsibility, basically finding the cost of sacrifice and making amends to it cud his brother SUCKS -
wow i just info dumped that's crazy
moving on, i wonder if a banana peel's ever killed anyone -
so the beginning was "The moon shone luminescent on a bright, perky morning; the night prior had been a shining copper hunter's moon, allowing for the massive glowing ball to reach an end as it sank further into the horizon.
Its mellow, calm light spread through the land, illuminating one canopy to a strange forest with a strange darkness sifting through it.
Inside this strange forest resided Thrain, a vile creature more concerned with the pleasantries of food than any old wondrous occasion. Even now, whilst a most beautiful event was abiding in the night sky, Thrain stalked through the gloomy woods that was Blackhollow Forest in a restless search for prey in hopes of satiating his hunger (which would never be satiated, as he was impossible to please).
Thrain’s vicious eyes gleamed with the light of the moon as he wandered the barren lands, save for the dismal mist – which, unfortunately for Thrain, was inedible.
Luckily, though, just on the outskirts of the thin, spidery trees etching through a couple of rolling hills, Thrain caught sight of a young teenage boy approaching the forest with a hunched posture and a red flashlight gripped in his tightly clenched fists."
this was all super rushed and my first draft, so it'd def improve. the last two sentences def feel super choppy, but that's cud i was feeling especially tired, so i'll come back to that later fo sho -
and then grimstone would come in and be like "arrrr bruthaaaa why u doin this AGAIn bro js appreciate nature frfr" and then they frolic through fields and
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BRUTHAAAA I KEEP GETTING FACETIMED BY PEOPLE AT MY SCHOOL AND I KEEP ACTING LIKE IM ASLEEP OR IN THE OTHER ROOM CUD FACETIMES FREAK ME OUT :(( I'D RATHER MEET UP PLEASE
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i need to chill out cud bro is scared of facetimes of all the things that could be feared in the universe 😭
i know im overthinking but brutha 😢 -
i have friends I js wish i had a close friend
thing is it’s cud of my anxiety that I can’t get a close friend -
im trying so hard to get rid of it by pushing myself into uncomfy situations
it’s worked but also not me feels -
i always feel as if people are gonna block me if i say something wrong or really cringe, so i’ll push myself out of my comfort zone despite js how horribly uncomfy it is and send it anyway
surprisingly im yet to be blocked. i think this fears all in my head
im glad im figuring this out sooner than later -
flashback to that one friend who, when she asked to try my drink, i told her it was sparkling water so she might not like it. instead of verbally confirming she liked sparkling water, she took my drink and proceeded to chug it lol
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