Vent thread I'll probably forget about
Thread Topic: Vent thread I'll probably forget about
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It doesn't help that I'm just not a big fan of this boy anyways but like ugh
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All he ever wants to talk about is his love life- like dude I couldn't care less
also ew who tf likes Dex like that EW he's one of the biggest pieces of crap ever ahhhh -
I'm actually so pissed
When other friends that you wouldn't mind not talking to cuss like 20 times in one text thread my parents are fine with it but the second Miguire's venting and swears twice they block them 'only for a week or two'
Like honey what you can't just- -
I want to move states so badly the second I'm able to but I also feel like I owe something to the community I'm in
Like, I want to be that teacher (bc lets face it I'm doomed to be a teacher for the sake of not being a starving artist lol) who went to the same school as they're teaching in, and knows how bad the bullies are in that area and helping students because I knew exactly what it was like in that school. I want to be that family member who's able to visit for the holidays and isn't facetiming. I don't want to leave and abandon a bunch of people I could've helped, but also goddamn it this state really sucks and I want to leave it asap lmao -
My biology teacher is honestly one of the only reasons I haven't dropped out yet
My old English teacher and theater teacher have definitely helped too but like he just understands better than any other teacher I've had honestly -
I'm gonna be fully honest, him and my old English teacher are probably why I have such a "I have to stay here until I die" mentality, because they both used to go to my school so they know what all the strict older teachers are like, and they know how bad the bullies are, and they just get it.
Like, it's not my dream job to be a teacher or anything, but if there's a possibility I could have that same impact on a kid.... holy s--- -
I've developed a really bad narcissist complex
I'm genuinely not a narcissist (quite the opposite lmao) but I act like one and it's just... ew -
Help I love Elise she's so sweet
We were venting to each other about life, love and the pursuit of happiness while playing Dr Mario -
Istg Dr Mario can fix almost anything
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I'm definitely going to fail this test lol
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Eli passed out in the middle of theater
Like, we were standing up and doing a scene (we're both witches in a Hamlet scene) and his line came up and he just... yeah -
The scary part is that idk what's wrong. He told me he'd eat after school so hopefully that helps but he has this stabby feeling in his ribs. It's not period cramps, he's not wearing a binder, he drank water, we didn't do any physical activity so it's not like his ribs dislocated or something like that
And I felt like I was making him feel like he was fragile afterwards (he's not) but like dude I'm worried -
I'm tired of feeling like I owe something to people
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I really didn't realize how much of a perfectionist I am
The thing is, it's not in the usual "if I don't get good grades (or something like that) than I'm a failure" it's more of a "If I'm not helping people I'm hurting people and helping people is my only contribution to the world apparently" which... is perfectionism and people pleasing at it's finest, lucas, stop it- -
Idk getting tested for ocd really made me realize a lot of things
and it's not like I'm blaming everything on my ocd even though I just barely got diagnosed, it's more just that a lot of this stuff was things I didn't realize was unusual or so extreme that they were noticeable by other people (*cough cough* perfectionism and intrusive thoughts *wheeze*) so the tests were more of a wake up call than anything else
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