Vent thread I'll probably forget about
Thread Topic: Vent thread I'll probably forget about
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wow everyone made really bad vent playlists last night holy crap
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"This is Deadname. Sometimes people call her Lucas, sometimes people call her by Deadname. You can call her whatever, right?"
Haha that's not right at all, but thanks for putting me on the spot. My name's actually Lucas, don't call me anything else and for the love of god please don't listen to anything my aunt says -
We love whining about this as if it's such a huge deal in the grand scheme of things
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I'm such a fatass whenever I go to my aunts house-
She's made sure that her pantry is full of everyone's favorite foods bc she can afford it and she wants people to eat food at her house, and I'm so used to not eating much (shut up ik how that sounds, I just genuinely forget to eat and don't have much of an appetite most of the time) so it just feels off actually eating something other than empty calories -
I can't get a word in around my nana omg
It's not even a scenario of "you're just stupid because you're young so I'm going to talk over you", it's MY HOUSE that we're at, all the rules I'm saying are the house rules, if I'm telling you not to touch the desk (it's my mom's desk and she hates it when people clean up her stuff because we misplace it and important stuff gets missing (which is why there's a rules in my house that no one touches people's spaces)) then do not talk over me and mess up her stuff -
I was supposed to be getting better
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You know it's serious when she's so worried about Kay that she tells you
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They're not telling me what happened either, and I know it's none of my business, but I'm worried
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It can't get worse than this
Ik saying that will jinx it, but i've lost all ability to even care at this point -
I feel like my default emotions at this point are sadness, fear, and "just let me jump off a bridge" which yknow, aren't good defaults
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It's weird though because I can't get angry. Like, I physically and mentally can't get angry. I get short bursts of frustration and I get ticked off, but anger is a long-ish thing, and I can't be able to get that pissed off for so long without it transferring to the default emotions
And it's not like I don't have anything to get angry about. It's literally the opposite. I just can't -
Lowkey so scare for today iykyk
and ik getting scared over something as stupid as this is dumb and pathetic, but it's just augh -
Anyways I don't want to think about that for too long bc it makes me want to lose my mind soooo
I didn't see Lex at school today. I hope he's ok -
I hate feeling like I have to choose a side in his drama, bc then I have to choose between him or Kay and Kay's my best friend but I love Lex like a brother and I'm so worried about both of them
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No matter what side I choose I'd be a bad friend either way so I'll just not pick a side and watch the friend group slowly decay
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