Shrouded despair and forgotten ambitions
Thread Topic: Shrouded despair and forgotten ambitions
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She won't text me back...
I hope it didn't do something wrong... -
I*
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^^ She just got her phone taken away 😂
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Anywho.
I'm not sorry for lashing out at my family. They deserved what they got, and it's the first time I've spoken my mind in the long time. I mean, I get my dad and others have stuffs goin' on in their lives, but so do I. Those b----es had it coming their way. For the first time I don't feel guilt or regret, and at this point I don't really care about being "punished". What are they gonna do? Ground me?
b----, I already stay at home. The worst they can do is take my devices.
At least now they know how I feel. It's not like they care, but at least I have their inconsiderate-ness to hold against them. -
(and then tomorrow I have a massive breakdown..... heh....)
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I did. And yesterday. And f---ing today. I hate myself. My family does too.
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You’re really f---ing awesome.
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And idc who tells you otherwise. Even if it’s you.
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Ditto. Tysm ♥♥♥
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Parents are childish sometimes. Often more often than sometimes.
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My cousins are.... a lot
Lmfao
But y'know, FaMiLy DrAmA is fUn *totally*
Ah well
Excited for next year, tho
Things'll be much better. For me and my family.
New school hours will be a problem tho...
aH wElL -
I f---ing hate my mum. She got mad at me for don't my meditation for so long then shouted at me because I told her to go away. Then she proceeded to tell at me every time I calmed down. I went to bed at 10 o'clock because she wouldn't let me calm down, and even then I was crying. Does nobody in this world support me? Does nobody care enough about me to try and cheer me up when I'm low? Does anybody care I'm going through s--- and the bad times are more than the good? Does nobody care I'd rather not have been born in the first place? I don't want the pain, I just don't want to exist in this universe anymore.
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I don't think my mum cares. She could never care less. I'm not her perfect little princess anymore. I'm not the girly daughter she wants to have - I'm the transgender one she doesn't understand. She says non-binary isn't even transgender and still calls me a girl despite how many times I've told her not to.
My grades are good, but she doesn't care. I could get dux this year, and we could still have an arguement about how unreliable I am that night because she doesn't care. My dad doesn't care either. Everything I achieve is congratulated by a hasty "Good job" and nothing more. I don't want to achieve anymore. I don't want to work so, so hard to win something because either way my self esteem is very low, and it wouldn't change anything except to mildly prove myself to a couple of other kids? -
And the worst part is I feel like I'm always waiting. Waiting just one more year for a new start, waiting to hear the announcement, waiting till I'm old enough to be able to never see my parents again. I feel like that's all it's going to be - waiting for some faraway fantasy. Even when I'm an adult (which is a long while away) I feel like my anxiety with get the best of me and I won't be able to do anything worthwhile.
God, I need a therapist. I've become everything I hate. -
I feel so unhappy. So broken. So lost. Like I've lost everything, but I haven't lost anything. I've got my whole life ahead of me, so why do I suddenly feel so useless?
I hate myself. I hate that all I need to feel better are a couple cat videos, some biscuits and a good book, then I'll feel horrible again two days later. I'm tired of doing this, and I feel like nobody's gonna be here to support me. Ever. Is that wrong?
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