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- Locked due to inactivity on Feb 27, '21 3:54am
Thread Topic: ...
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i am not like you, at all
but it's so hard to convince myself -
I don't know how to feel about seeing you again, but I'm willing to try again
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It brought a lot of feelings for me, especially since I still always think of you.
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Oh I did it
I can't believe I reached out to them, this is the real test to see if I changed -
I usually put my friendships on hold when I'm depressed, because that's not the person they see.
I try my best to be the confident, tough, funny, and strong one.
I'm more open to talking about my feelings here, because nobody in real life can see it.
Vulnerability is weakness, and I refuse to be seen as weak, even if it is the truth irl.
I had my moments, but I'd quickly retract into being the person I want to be seen as, rather than myself.
When I get depressed, I convince myself that they are better off not seeing me this way. They deserve perfection; and if that is not what I am, than I go away. -
It's been hard these past days because I feel this is all gonna blow up in my face
I think it's evident that I've been more distant lately, and I know someone is gonna be angry. But I also feel people like me better when I'm sad. And I don't want to lose people in the process of becoming my own person, since I'm the most attached person internally. -
Why does everything go wrong when I try to bond with my grandma
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ah s--- here we go again
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I don't want to go into detail but my rapid decline in my mental health is an oof
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It makes my blood boil that I have to forgive you because you're
1.) My mother
2.) Too mentally/physically not able to understand what you did wrong
3.) Getting better
I want you to get better, but I want you to be able to understand what you did. I just want to hear an "I'm sorry, I know I've hurt you"
But that's asking for too much -
I'm tired of never being able to find a hobby because my perfectionism turns it into a stressful time.
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You say we're still good friends, but you obviously replaced me. Don't lie to me. Just say we aren't as good friends as we used to be.
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So when they do it, it's okay because they have issues.
But when I do it, I'm a monster and my issues aren't an excuse. -
"They're trying to help you. You need to tell them what your struggling with."
Being honest, I'm the biggest liar I know.😎 -
maybe if I wasn't such a control freak I wouldn't be in this mess
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