I don't know what to do anymore.
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:27pm
Thread Topic: I don't know what to do anymore.
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I feel so lost. I'm not normally the one to write out my problems, but I'm at my wit's end.
I feel detached from everything. Like I'm watching from the outside. The word 'fade' reminds me of my life. I feel like I'm fading. Faster and faster, and one day I'll disappear. I'm afraid, terrified, even. I don't know what of. I've gotten the urge to cut several times. One of the few things that stops me is the fact that the razors I use aren't the kind you can remove. ;~; For those of you who don't know, I hide my feelings. Ask any one of my friends; they'll tell you I'm the smart, weird, slightly awkward girl who always has a sarcastic comment handy.
Reality?
I'm falling apart. I don't know why. I don't feel alive anymore. Right now I feel depressed, but I'm not that way all the time. I just feel numb. Normally horseback riding helps, but I haven't been able to be at the barn for almost two weeks, which is probably why I'm desperate enough to write out a monologue about s--- no one cares about. Writing usually helps as well, but right now writing brings about an empty feeling. Guys. Writing is my escape. It's what I do; what I'm good at. So why can't I write?
I feel so lost. Like I'm in a whirlwind of emotions and thoughts and I'm drowning.
I'm going to regret writing this as soon as I hit submit, but here we go. -
I used to feel like this. *huggles* Somehow I slipped back in happiness just by talking to people here on GTQ :) Not that I'm recommending increasing your computer hours, but yeah :p I feel like this too when I write; I can write things with other characters, but I cannot write about myself :/ Don't worry. Things will get better. There is so much in life to enjoy *another huggle*
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I feel for you LSW, in a way I am just the same
I hate sharing problems so instead I come on here to forget things for a while.
I am not much of a comforter so I have no idea what to say to make you feel better except...
We on the same boat :/ -
Into*
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I'm in the same position as you, kid. But it'll be okay. I have a very hard time sharing my feelings with others since I guess I just don't think people either care about it or can do anything about it. I'm a writer as well and I can't always put my feelings into words either. Like someone I respect has said, it's like trying to force an ocean through a straw. Sometimes words just don't fully convey what we feel.
As far as what I can advise, you just have to find what works for you. When the depression comes along and your mind comes up with thoughts of self harm, just lay down on your bed or wherever you feel comfortable and breathe. Cry if you need to. Take every moment one step at a time. Eventually that wave of pain will pass. Take care of yourself. When you're in that much pain you shouldn't do something that'll add to it.
Remember that you're worth it. Pain is something we all have to go through and learn from. Don't let it destroy you, but let it help you grow. I wish I could do more to help than write words, but at the very least know that you're not alone and it's going to be okay. -
Sigh....join the club hon. I've been feeling like that for... god how long has it been about four or five years since I've been completely whole. Not the numb, bitter, cold outsider. I used to love the world, but then I found out reality is a b----. I'm quiet and don't really like people. I scare my friends sometimes because I can be at one place, then by them scaring them because I'm quiet. But for you, it might be a thing you're gonna go through and then everything is normal again. me its kinda like I'm in a ditch.
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UnLoving- Thank you, dear. Talking here helps occasionally, but currently most of the people who have the ability to make me feel better aren't on when I'm on.
Kish- Yeah, I hate sharing problems. You have no idea how hard it was to hit that submit button. I've written things like this out before, but never posted them. Thanks.
Ana- Thank you. That's really all I can say. Thank you.
Anri- I dunno. I go through phases; I'll feel like this and then I'll get a bit happier, then I'll sink again. It's been going on for a while now. It was just really bad last night and I didn't know what to do. And since I've said thanks so much, I'll shake it up for you. Merci. -
Hey no need to thank me, we are here for you, and if you need to vent out or something then do not hesitate to let me know
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Honestly Lone you are a carbon copy of me, except for maybe the horseback riding. You're in the same exact situation as me, all I can really suggest is to keep with that horseback riding and possibly try something you thought you could never see yourself doing. I did yoga because of my sister and it's a very healthy way to make me happy.
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