AH jokes.. the spice of life
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:14pm
Thread Topic: AH jokes.. the spice of life
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At age 3, success is not peeing in your pants.
At age 16, success is "gettin' a little".
At age 25, success is graduation and a wedding.
At age 35, success is about career and family.
At age 55, success is about graduations and weddings.
At age 70, success is "gettin' a little".
At age 90, success is not peeing in your pants. -
As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for department areas, we are forced to cut down on our number of personnel. Under this plan, older employees will be asked to go on early retirement, thus permitting the retention of the younger people who represent our future. Therefore, a program to phase out older personnel by the end of the current fiscal year, via retirement, will be placed into effect immediately. This program will be known as SLAP (Sever Late-Aged Personnel). Employees who are SLAPPED will be given the opportunity to look for employment outside the company. SLAPPED employees can request a review of their employment records before actual retirement takes place. This phase of the program is called SCREW. (Survey of Capabilities of Retired Early Workers). All employees who have been SLAPPED or SCREWED may file an appeal with the upper management. This is called SHAFT (Study by Higher Authority Following Termination). Under the terms of the new policy, an employee may be -to be continued
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XDD lol
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[b]CHICKEN WIRE[/]
An old man was sitting on his front porch down in Louisiana watching the sunrise. He sees the neighbor's kid walk by carrying something big under his arm. He yells out, "Hey boy, Whittier got there?"
Boy yells back, "Roll of chicken wire,"
Old man says, "what you gonna do with that?"
Boy says, "Gonna catch some chickens,"
Old man yells, "you damn fool, you can't catch chickens with chicken wire!" Boy just laughs and keeps walking. That evening at sunset, the boy comes walking by and to the old man's surprise he is dragging behind him the chicken wire with about 30 chickens caught in it. -
Same time next morning the old man is out watching the sunrise and he sees the boy walk by carrying something kind of round in his hand. Old man yells out "Hey boy, Whittier got there?"
Boy yells back "Roll of duct tape."
Old man says "What you gonna do with that?"
Boy says back "Gonna catch me some ducks".
Old man yells back, "You damn fool, you can't catch ducks with duct tape!" Boy just laughs and keeps walking. That night around sunset the boy walks by coming home, and to the old man's amazement he is trailing behind him the unrolled roll of duck tape with about 35 ducks caught in it. -
Same time next morning the old man sees the boy walking by carrying what looks like a long reed with something fuzzy on the end. The Old man says "Hey boy, Whittier got there?"
Boy says "It's a p---- willow."
Old man says "Wait up, I'll get my hat." -
LOL SECOND JOKE LOL
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