Random Stuff I Found on the Internet
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:18pm
Thread Topic: Random Stuff I Found on the Internet
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And there are some repeats..
15 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART
1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares".... and see what happens.
4. Go up to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
15. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "Go, Pikachu, go!"
3 ways to be KICKED out of Wal-Mart
#1:Unwrap all the chocolate bars saying: "I've got to find that golden ticket.."
#2:Put a Dora explorer doll in the middle of the store and if someone tries to pick it up, jump out and say: "SWIPER NO SWIPING!"
#3:Throw Skittles at people and shout: "Taste the Rainbow b----!!!!"
35 Things to do in an Elevator
1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.
9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.
16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
21. Swat at flies that don't exist.
22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.
23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.
24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.
25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.
29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style: is that your final answer?
32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
34. Tell people that you can see their aura.
35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
50 Fun Things To Do At Wal-Mart
1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
4. Start playing Calvin ball; see how many people you can get to join in.
5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
9. When there are people behind you, walk really slow, especially thin narrow aisles.
10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, I think weve got a Code 3 in Housewares, and see what happens.
11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to 10.
12. Play with the automatic doors.
13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, Hi! I havent seen you in so long!... etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, Who buys this crap, anyway?
15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.
16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim youre taking it for a test drive.
17. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.
18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, Wow. Magic!
20. Put M&Ms on layaway.
21. Move Caution: Wet Floor signs to carpeted areas.
22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others youll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can catch from the other aisles.
24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, ...Im Batman. Come, Robinto the Batcave!
26. TP as much of the store as possible.
27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell hello upside down.
29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, Why wont you people just leave me alone?
30. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, Red Rover!
31. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., Do you have any Shnerples here?
32. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
33. Take bets on the battle described above.
34. Nonchalantly test the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.
36. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from Mission: Impossible.
38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
39. Attempt to fit others into very larg -
*39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
40. Say things like, Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?
41. Set up a Valet Parking sign in front of the store.
42. Two words: Marco Polo.
43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.
44. Re-alphabetize the CDs in Electronics.
45. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look with various funnels.
46. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, No, no! Its those voices again!
49. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you dont get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
100 Things to do in an elevator!!
1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
2. Shake the persons hand when he/she enter the lift.
3. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.
4. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your Kleenex to other passengers.
5. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: Shut up, all of you just shut UP!.
6. Whistle the first seven notes of Its a Small World incessantly.
7. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
8. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
9. Shave.
10. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: Got enough air in there?
11. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
12. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off
13. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
14. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: Noogie patrol coming!
15. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
16. One word: Flatulence!
17. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go plink at the bottom.
18. Do Tai Chi exercises.
19. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: Ive got new socks on!
20. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: Oh, not now, motion sickness!
21. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
22. Meow occasionally.
23. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
24. Frown and mutter gotta go, gotta go then sigh and say oops!
25. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
26. Sing Mary had a little lamb while continually pushing buttons.
27. Holler Chutes away! whenever the elevator descends.
28. Walk on with a cooler that says human head on the side.
29. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce Youre one of THEM! and move to the far corner of the elevator.
30. Burp, and then say mmmmtasty!
31. Leave a box between the doors.
32. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
33. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers through it.
34. Start a sing-along.
35. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask is that your beeper?
36. Play the harmonica.
37. Say Ding! at each floor.
38. Lean against the button panel.
39. Say I wonder what all these do and push the red buttons.
40. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
41. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your personal space.
42. Bring a chair along.
43. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: Wanna see wha in muh mouf?
44. Blow spit bubbles.
45. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
46. Announce in a demonic voice: I must find a more suitable host body.
47. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
48. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
49. Wear X-Ray Specs and leer suggestively at other passengers.
50. Stare at your thumb and say I think its getting larger.
51. Announce to the person stood next to you I really need the toilet. Can I use your bag?
52. Ask the other passengers Wouldnt it be great if this lift were to plummet to the floor? What do you think will happen?
53. Pretend to get your leg stuck in the door as it closes
53. Without letting anyone see, press the emergency stop button. Act surprised and start talking to yourself its ok, it wasn't your fault you killed your family. It was SATAN, damn you SATAN! DAMN YOU!!! Then press the stop button again and act as if nothing has happened.
54. Scratch yourself excessively saying Stupid head lice. Theyre all over me. I knew I shouldnt have played with that dog so much
55. Set out a picnic set on the floor and suggest to the other passengers to join you in afternoon tea
56. Break wind and blame it on the person next to you
57. Pretend you are a repair man here to fix the lift. Wait until its busy and tell everyone to get out of the lift. You get in, get your paper out and sit and relax
58. Start to talk about your sex life. Tell them that all of your three children were conceived in this very lift. And point and say it was up against that wall
59. Have sex with your imaginary friend
60. Say you have just won the lottery and you are on your way to collect your winnings. See how many people are listening to you
61. As the lift descends, shout Bombs away!
62. Offer to polish their shoes. When they say no, tell them you need the money to feed your ten starving children back home in Estonia
63. Hand out leaflets what to do when the lift cable breaks. The ten tips that will keep your body in one piece (although these tips will not save your life, it will make the rescue a bit cleaner, and we wont have to spend ages cleaning the blood of the walls) Hope you will live to do it again!
64. Perform a striptease
65. Act surprised when it starts to move and say THE GROUND IS FALLING!
66. Fake an orgasm when the lift starts to move. Announce that it was your best ever
67. Let your mobile phone ring dont answer it.
68. Walk in to the lift with a clear bottle of apple juice. Start drinking and say ah, theres nothing like your own urine to quench your first. Does anyone want some?
69. Say this new g-sring is really starting to hurt. Then attempt to adjust it.
70. Walk into the lift and say this reminds me of being buried alive. Ah those were the days
71. Suggest to the other passengers that you all should play a game of twister. Then get out the board and lie it on the floor
72. Paint the walls of the lift.
73. On entering, ask the passengers if they want to be your friend. Burst into tears if they say no.
74. Stop the lift and say twenty years in prison for murdering the whole family, and I get stuck in a lift after being out for two hours. Just my luck!
75. Get back to nature go in naked
76. Pretend to be the pilot of the lift, speak into a headset this is lift number 1, ready for decent to 1st floor. Waiting for permission to depart, over
77. Announce in a computer like voice this lift will self destruct in 5 4 3 2 ..oh heres my floor
78. Serve tea and coffee
79. Take shoes off before entering, Look shocked and disgusted when the others dont
80. Act like the sergeant of the lift. Order people around. Tell them to get in line.
81. Suggest to the other people that you should play musical statues. Bring a tape recorder along too
82. Teach the people French. Dont let them leave till they get it right
83. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.
84. Insist, the lift ride costs 2.50
85. Describe in detail, how youre hung like a horse
86. Pretend to be a flight attendant (particularly affective if you are dressed like one), ins -
*86. Pretend to be a flight attendant (particularly affective if you are dressed like one), instruct the passengers on what to do in an emergency
87. Yodel
88. Bring out a magnifying glass, closely inspect the other passengers skin and say ooh, look at your pores
89. Sing I know a song that will get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get, get, get on your nerves Over and over again.
90. Ask the others Do you mind if I do my Eminem impression?, then bring out a chainsaw and a mask.
91. Try break dancing
92. Bring out a fake toy gun and shout to the person next to you you lookin at me?
93. Challenge the guy stood next to you to a thumb war.
94. Explain your ideas of world domination to the wall.
95. Force people to read to Kama Sutra while asking do you wanna try this one?
96. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce it is time
97. Pretend to see a spider, repeatedly and violently stamp on the floor while screaming Die you b------, die DIIEEE!
98. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, Hide itquick! then whistle innocently.
99. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler Bad touch!
100. Wave hands wildly at invisible flies buzzing around your head. -
AZY Novicelol xD
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Oh wow. xD
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I swear I'm going to do *almost* all of this.
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Record it! :3
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I don't have a camera. T.T
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:(
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iPod, cell phone, voice recorder, borrow one? :o You *must* record it.
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I don't have any of those things, but when I get around to doing this, I will definitely bug Sebby or Mutti or someone about something to record it with. x3 Knowing them, they'd volunteer to record it for me.
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:D Yay.
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Hahahahaha.
I've actually done a few of those. -
:O That's pretty awesome.
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:D
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