Deddoenjeruentiti
Thread Topic: Deddoenjeruentiti
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This is the time where everything is just.........no.
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Idk who I'd talk to about it. It's just a lot. But, I mean, I have therapy tomorrow, so maybe, then...
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That's probably the best thing to do.
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And let's not bother him, either.
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Am I back to square one? I'm stuck in a perpetual cycle of depression. Every time I think I might feel better, I feel bad again. It takes forever to reach a slightly better place and then minutes to be utterly dejected again...
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I really need a hug. And then I need to disappear.
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I feel like...
I don't want to say that, here... -
I'm...lovesick.......
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I'm lovesick because I long to be with him...but I know we can't be together in-person, right now...and that may be a ways off. Well, it is a ways off...
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Our 5-month anniversary is this Friday, and I know I can't be with him... My agonized heart...
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And after everything that's happened over the past few days, I just want to be with him...
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We would be together. We could be alone. We could finally enjoy the moment without some unfortunate event f---ing everything up.
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And so, Monday night...for a moment...I felt like it was one of the closest moments we'd ever come to just that, and being able to just be with each other. But...then...it was cut short, and I feel like I've been out of it since. Grieving our distance, longing to have that again, or even actually be with him in-person. It just hurts...and it's nothing he could control. I'm not angry or upset with him. How could I be when I love him and wish to be with him so bad? I've felt broken since then. Sad, irritable, unmotivated, and just...longing for that time with him...
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Oh god. Not this, now...
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Covid is weird. Never even knew I had it...
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