Were gonna have a good day
Thread Topic: Were gonna have a good day
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ok so back to the thing
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I have like the hardest time showing love for people and it’s not because my family never loved me or anything, I’m just so uncomfortable with the idea of expressing affection for somebody because it literally feels like giving yourself up
and ofc I know that it’s not giving yourself up to someone or making yourself easy but I have the hardest time doing it because it never feels right -
Second
You know how your brain supposedly blocks out memories of things that traumatized you
yea -
and it’s becoming more apparent to me because I’m getting this feeling where I keep recognizing this one name and this one face and I know that I know them
not even like “oh I saw them down the street once” or “they’re a friend of a friend”
No I mean I know this person like I’ve spoken to this person -
But I don’t actually remember any moments with them but at the same time I’m like completely aware of the fact that I know this person closely
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But at the same time I’m like how do I know this person because I shouldn’t know this person
But I saw his name and immediately knew him, knew his face, everything -
third
I also realized that I’m rlly sensitive to others touching me, even if it’s just a hug or a tap on the arm
I flinch a ton at those things but at the same time I don’t recall ever having experienced any sort of abuse regarding physical violence -
now my head hurts because how could I forget something like that
like honestly because even if I don’t remember the exact moment, I can remember me looking back on it and stuff -
Except I’m not aware that anything has happened to me but I’m worried because I’ve seriously never recognized anybody like I recognized this guy
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Never settle for …
… a guy who’s dry
… a guy who sees you as a second option
… someone who doesn’t care what happens to you
… somebody who makes you uncomfortable
… somebody who doesn’t make you jealous
… a guy who doesn’t respect you or others
… a guy who doesn’t even really like you
… anybody who just uses you for your body
… a person who makes you insecure about you and your relationship with them -
so you know the person I used to be friends with
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I’m scared that this is one of those moments where I’m just drifting back to people that aren’t good for me and that I’m wrong about this
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but like, I miss one of my best friends
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And I know it’s easier to go back to friends that hurt you because you’re so used to it but I’m trying to think about it more and if that’s really what it is or if I just miss talking to her and our long ft calls and our hangouts
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It’s so hard for me to talk about because I said I was done with her but I feel like I made a mistake, but at the same time she also didn’t wanna make up after all the stuff went down
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