Were gonna have a good day
Thread Topic: Were gonna have a good day
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i've had close calls with peanuts. i remember one time i was at my favorite Vietnamese restaurant, one that my family had gone to a ton, and i got my regular order. it was just like a porkchop, but i noticed that there were little peanut crumbs on it.
of course, i told my dad about it immediately, but i was still really scared. because having a deadly food allergy is like always being on edge because if you could be fine one second, eat something, and then be going into anaphylactic shock. its like no joke.
and my siblings dont have any allergies, besides my sister to pollen and my little sister to cats. my little sister is a lot more empathetic though because i think she has a little nut allergy or something so she has some idea of what thats like.
anyways, im in the restaurant, about to cry, because my dad just tried my food and told me that there were peanuts in my dish.
long story short, i went to the hospital to see if anything was going to happen, and when i ended up okay, we went back home. -
but literally if i hadn't looked at my food and noticed little crumbs in it, then i would had an epi pen jabbed into my leg within the hour. i would be in the hospital for 48 hours, with my entire family panicking.
and i swear sometimes my family just does not understand that. it's happened before, when i was little, and it was so scary. like it's a core memory.
literally my voice got shaky in the restaurant, because the situation felt a bit like, and imagine this:
you're just running, and suddenly there's a cliff. you manage to stop just in time, but you just keep thinking about how you could have died, had you not looked down.
thats what it feels like. but so much scarier because everything happens over an hour or two. you dont go "splat" and just die, you swell up, cant breath, then you cant speak, then you cant think, then you die. all while the people around you are panicking and crying and you wish that you were one of them, because you dont wanna f---ing die yet.
thats what it's like. i not being overdramatic, that is what having a deathly allergy is like.
back to the story. my brother, who has no allergies and will never know the feeling, started making fun of me. he literally went: "Why are you ruining a nice dinner? Stop crying, it's not a big deal."
And my dad told him to stop because he knew that I was really sensitive, and im grateful that he told my brother off, but he still doesnt understand what it's like to literally be this close to having the most traumatic night of your life in the hospital. -
and i dont know why it's so bad, and this is referring to the time i ate peanut butter in 3rd grade, i remember my parents panicking. and i NEVER see them panic. my parents both looked so scared and its like they were even more scared than me.
and i dont even know how to describe the feeling, because it doesnt make any sense. but it's like when you're going through something bad, everybody else is panicking and crying, and even while you're in pain (or in this case not being able to breath well). and you're obviously scared too, but it seems like everybody around you is even more scared that you are. which, in turn, freaks you out because its like they know something that you dont know, or that they see something that you cant see. -
and another incident when i was going into 6th grade (summer of), i ate a walnut. please dont ask why i dont know why a blueberry muffin had a walnut in it. flash forward, my parents tell me to call the ambulance (or they did it for me i think), and panicking like i was, i begged my grandma to just drive me to the hospital right away because the ambulance wasnt at the house yet.
im not deathly allergic to walnuts, only peanuts, so i knew that i had more time and if i could get to the hospital i would be okay. dont ask me how 6th grade me knew this stuff, i just knew my own body or whatever whatever.
so, i hadnt taken benadryl because it makes you sleepy, and the last thing i needed was to fall asleep while having a bad allergic reaction. instead, i fished out my epi pen from the drawer, sat on the toilet seat, and did it myself. very proud of myself, because im terrified of needles and apparently the epi pen one looks small at first, but it's actually a pretty thick needle. it's small before usage, but when you inject it into your leg, it apparently shoots out after it's in your leg.
so i was scared and shaking while i did it but i did it hooray. i came out of the bathroom to grab some water to hopefully check how my throat was doing (it was swelling up), and i saw my brother crying. and i absolutely could not tell you why i was so calm and why i was the one reassuring my brother as he was crying even though i was the one who should be sobbing and being comforted. -
but the way i kind of feel like a badass for being calm and knowing exactly what to do feels good, especially knowing that i know what to do if it happens again
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but at the same time, im pretty calm considering the situation, but my body and my voice are still shaking.
but also how i literally am so terrified of needles when im at the doctors, but the minute a person in the ambulance asks to inject my arm with an IV, i'm like "yeah sure go ahead i dont mind at all"
tell me whats the phycology behind all of this -
thats a lot of buts sorry
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i do remember asking the guy if it was gonna hurt and i was actually almost about to ask him if it was necessary, except i didnt wanna embarrass myself or start crying in front of like 5 strangers. and its so stupid how i was literally a baddie ten minutes ago when i was stabbing myself in the leg with an epi pen, BY. MYSELF, but i couldnt even get a tiny little shot.
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also side note, but grammar kind of annoys me because i say all these different things and they all sound correct
1. i ACTUALLY do remember asking
2. ACTUALLY, i do remember asking
3. i do ACTUALLY remember asking
4. i do remember ACTUALLY asking
5. i do remember asking, actually -
im pretty sure theyre all correct though
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do people ever copy you and youre fine if they asked but they didnt ask and now other people think that you gave them permission and stuff
ok -
lalala
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:(
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OMG HUH ONE OF MY FAVORITE PPL ON INSTAGRAM HAS ONLYFANS
HELP
I WAS LJKE SHES MY IDOL SHES SO PRETTY AND FUNNY AND THEN I LOOK KN HER INSTAGRAM BIO AND THERES A LINKTREE SK J CHECKED IT OUT HOPING TO FIND LIKE HER AMAZON FAVORITES OR FAV HAIR PRODUCTS AND ALL THAT
BUT I FOUND AN OF ACCOUNT HELP ME JESUS -
it’s 3:30 am
so goodnight or good morning
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