Ripper's Edge
Thread Topic: Ripper's Edge
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I should scratch myself a lot less. My parents keep thinking I'm just breaking out a lot......................................
but it's a habit, and I don't usually notice when I'm doing it until it's too late.
I feel better digging my fingers into something, though. But, what good is it to do this? It doesn't help, but it somehow does, even though it ultimately makes it worse. -
I feel bad.
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And it gets worse.
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And it's nothing we can fix.
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So we just get worse.
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And worse.
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And worse.
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I shouldn't even be here anymore.
I've scarred myself beyond belief. I should have blood poisoning or die of infection, yet none of that has ever happened to me. -
I've tried to pretend that the world isn't all that bad, and there's something so much better out there, but...
I can't. I'm just tired. It's all a bunch of garbage to believe it.
I don't know what my parents are thinking. It's always easier to believe what you see than to believe something that isn't promised but you just feel it should happen.
I'm done pushing myself to think these clichés about faith, hope, love, and endurance have meaning. -
They say "life is a gift", but it's not a gift for the ones who never wanted it.
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Life is literally a curse. If the Bible is true, and sin corrupted the world so it is the way it is now, then life truly is a curse.
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Why is it so hard to see that?
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And I get tired of hearing my mom bring God literally into every conversation we have. Like, I can't even have a normal talk with her without her doing this.
I honestly can't take it.
And she's just throwing God into everything like the cure-all to life.
Um, God has nothing to do with what we're eating for dinner tonight.
God doesn't care if I'm joking about made up creatures! -
Oh, no.
Now we'll be doing Bible class soon.
I can't take it.
I just can't take it.
I feel like they're just shoving this stuff down my throat, now. But saying this is the fastest way to be grounded for my differing opinion -
I just don't want to do this anymore.
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