Ripper's Edge
Thread Topic: Ripper's Edge
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At some point, it was like they didn't want me anymore. I could feel the change in the way they acted towards me, and by 7, it was clear...
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Trigger(s):
Eye Contact
Being told what you think I can't do
Being brushed off
Endlessly cloudy days
This all happened in a matter of minutes after waking up. -
I don't feel well. I just don't. They aren't making my soundness easy to retrieve, either.
I just don't feel to stable, and I need to find a way to change this. But I'm not sure what I can do in myself.
If I can't find help, I'm stuck like this. I have no way to reach out to anyone else about it so I can get real help.
All I can do is take it. -
I am not here.
I am not anyone.
I am just...nothing. -
I actually don't mind when people refer to me as "they/them" because I'll take it if they're not aware of my gender. I also don't mind them mistaking me to be a "he/him" either, because I understand why they would. But, no, I'm still a "she/her".
It's only offensive to call me "he/him" if they good and well know I'm a girl. -
I'm trying to change the subject, but I'm not doing any better. -
I have a pet 🌵 now.
not a real pet... -
It's too dark out for me to work right now, so I'll see if I can come back when it gets lighter.
P.S. Snake, you hot... -
Site be dead.
I came here an hour ago: nothing.
Now: still nothing. -
I feel abandoned.
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My family tries to be everything for me, and I don't mean that in a sweet way. They try to be my friends, cousins, aunts, uncles--everything, and they claim it's alright for it to be this way, but it's not!
I'm never able to get out and see anyone for myself because that's not what they want. -
They don't care who I shut out in the world as long as they can always invade my space.
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I feel like shutting down on everyone and everything.
There's just no point in anything.
If I do this, they'll complain, but only because they use me to clean up after them and do whatever they're too lazy to do.
They won't miss me for me. Just for what I do.
I feel so cynical, but I'm not too far off.
Everyone always wants something from me, whether I'm able to give it or not. And if I'm not, they move along and never interact with me again.
So, my life and what I'm here for? I don't know. But what I do? I'm just here to suffer for other's enjoyment and watch myself fall apart. -
I have no way of knowing anything about who or what I truly am. I'm just lost.
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Love is fake.
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