The wounds that never show...
Thread Topic: The wounds that never show...
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My head hurts. I don't wanna think about this, but I'm stuck thinking about it every time I look at my schoolbooks!
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This is stupid how people just keep giving out their profiles to their friends. It's stupid and confusing. They need to stop.
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I apologize to everyone. I keep making different accounts for need to change my name. I use certain accounts to match my mood. Clara Ford is my privileged account, but I hate to use it as my main. I change my account purely for name reasons. If I could change my name, I would not have to make all these accounts. But I feel the need to do it again.
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Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
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I miss the happier days.
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I'm tired. When I fall asleep, I dream of my life. It is all the same. What happened to the whimsical dreams I once dreamt? Will I ever have them again?
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I have a bad habit. Seeing other people miserable--it's sweet revenge when they've wronged me. And the best part to me is, I didn't even do anything to them. I just love the feel; they get to go through all the pain they caused me. And if they wanna fall back on me, I tell them that they won't be dragging me into their own personal little hell because they made me walk through mine. It makes me feel good when they suffer, even if I shouldn't feel that way. It gives me a sense of power--makes me feel like a queen/tyrant. I love it, but that's bad. Just a dark habit of mine.
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It was an experiment, honestly. I didn't mean to do anything so awful. I don't want people to judge me for that, I'm not a liar. I just thought it'd help. It's proof that I can help other people, but I'm clueless on how to help myself. I figured I'd just experiment with different things. We can probably cross that one out. It could lead to hurting others. I'm sorry. But, people should know, now.
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I'll go eat, now.
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I think I'll stay in here, today.
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Just mind my business and don't say anything.
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I honestly don't like myself. Everything I try to do never works, and the world's never right unless I'm sad. God forbid that I become happy, one day, otherwise the Earth will drop off from existence and the end off all life will be my fault.
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I'm so stupid to believe I deserve to be happy. What makes me think I do?
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I am misery's incarnate. All the misery of the world rests in my body--it stays where my heart should be.
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