By land, by sea, by dirigible
- Locked due to inactivity on Jun 2, '20 3:54am
Thread Topic: By land, by sea, by dirigible
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Niiiice.
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Okokokokokokokokokokokokok
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Oh my god i am falling aparrrrt .
Nothing new but
Gonna go stand outside and scream into the wind maybe it'll help -
Third night in a row.
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I'm completely alone.
I wonder where I'd end up if I ended things now.
I wonder if God hears all my thoughts. I wonder if he's sick of all the bulls--- I keep thinking about. I wonder if he hates me the most out of everyone he's ever made.
I wouldn't be surprised. -
I just want to not feel this way and yet I can't even put how I feel into words.
Maybe I really am broken. -
I feel so sick
I really hate December
And I hate Christmas
I shouldn't have slept all day because now I'm wide awake and there's no one to talk to.
Like always, I'm alone with my thoughts -
I worry if I did it now you'd both blame yourself
You've done nothing wrong
I'm just f---ed up
God I'm so f---ed up -
If I were 21 I'd drink myself sick every night
At least I'd be too sick to think
My head hurts really bad
I haven't been eating or bathing or cleaning
All I've done is fed athena and let her in and out to use the bathroom -
I might as well not exist with how little I've been talking to everybody
Maybe I'll just do it
I should, shouldn't I?
It's almost like God has been telling me to these past three nights. Maybe he'll just make me feel worse and worse until I do. -
Maybe that's it.
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I really just want this to stop one way or another
I wish I weren't such a f---ing p---- -
It's 12:23 now
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It'd take less than four minutes
It'd be relatively painless and then
It's what comes after that I'm scared of -
Call it selfish but I'm not not doing it because of what I'd leave behind, because of who I'd hurt
I'm scared of ending up someplace worse
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