By land, by sea, by dirigible
- Locked due to inactivity on Jun 2, '20 3:54am
Thread Topic: By land, by sea, by dirigible
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Feeling kinda broken right now
Spent about half an hour crying
Now I just kinda feel.. Lost.
I keep talking to God, asking for guidance, for faith and for love, and I know my prayers are being answered. I.. Don't know exactly who or what God is, but I know things in my life are changing. It's just happening so slowly and I feel like I have no control over anything. I know I don't, actually. I'm trying to think positive and put out the love I'm being given, but I'm still struggling. I'm so tired. I feel so lonely. I feel like I'm standing still.. I feel like I'm running out of time. -
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I can't breathe lol
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Took x3 of my medication
Still dont feel sny different
I'm going to break -
Tonight is somehow worse, I'm going to end up doing damage
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My notebooks are collecting dust, my muse is dead lately, music makes me agitated, i have panic attacks everytime I'm in the shower, ive ate so much i made myself sick, being alone with my thoughts is killing me but I'm too on edge to actually reach out
I want to stop thinking
I want to stop -
Nnnnnnnnnnnnnn
f---kkkkk -
I wish i had something to type here
But i just feel terrible
My mind is spinning with self-hatred but it's less thoughts and more of just a heavy feeling
Usually getting my thoughts out here helps but tonight i just
Want something to drown them out and
Nothing is working so I'm just typing and typing because then it's not as bad as long as I'm saying the words I'm typing in my head I'm not thinking about anything
So I'll just hide here for a bit
Until it stops feeling so bad -
Except it always feels this way at least a littlebit
I hate it when it consumes me like this
He saw a really nasty side of my today
I should just not open our thread until this is over
He doesn't need to worry about me. He has a really important test in like eight hours and I'm not going to call him and have him talk me down because I don't want to burden him -
I wish he would have called me earlier
I wish I hadn't been such an ass and never responded to him
I wish i were asleep right now -
Debating taking more pills
Debating taking them all -
I might actually have to give in to some of these thoughts because otherwise it might just get worse
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Oh a tornado warning
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