I have anger issues
- Locked due to inactivity on Sep 25, '19 3:54am
Thread Topic: I have anger issues
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Every night I dream we make up
I dream we'll meet again
I daydream that you're still my friend and everything is fine
I always check your account
I'm consumed in my good memories
And I don't know if I can get out -
Sounds like a Katy Perry song
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Lmao
Nah I'm just being unstable. -
I never thought of it as discrimination
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I'm still really bitter about it
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I've probably ranted about R in this thread before, but I'm going to do it again. I guess I'm still in shock.
She always complained and cried about her insecurities, yet she would do things to make me feel insecure. For example, she'd tell me if she saw a pimple on my face like I didn't already know. Or she would imply something that made me feel insecure. She would always say how she got hit on by random guys, and then say how normal that is. And surprise surprise, that's never happened to me. And she knows it.
Or she'd pick on me for something, usually my breast size, as if I wasn't picked on enough for it. And then when I told her she was lucky that she didn't have a smaller bust, she told me it wasn't all that great. But if she felt that she could pick on me for not being busty enough, wouldn't that mean she had enough pride in her bust size to pick on me for it whenever she got mad at me?
Or she would treat my problems as if they didn't exist or she felt her problems were more important because she feels she had a s---tier life than me. Or she says she understands certain feelings I have when she doesn't. Like I do admit she did have it rough, but in a way, I also had it rough. But she acts like she knows what its like to be hated by a whole town. And while I don't stand for bullying, being bullied by one person does not mean everyone in your town hates you. Or when I talk about how being abandoned by my parents affected me. She's never been abandoned. The only reason she pretends she's been through that is because she wants me to feel bad that her life was worse than mine. And I'm not trying to place pity on myself when I say this, but my childhood was horrible. I could go on a whole rant about it. R did have it bad, but she definitely underestimated my childhood. She feels she had to be in a competition on who had it worse. And I hated that. It doesn't matter who had it worse, all that matters is that if a friend is having trouble, you be there for them. And she was never there for me, but I would've taken a bullet for that girl. I made sure I always listened. -
The worst part is how when I confronted her about this, she went as low as to tell me how "f---ing selfish" I was for trying to kill myself. And how she cried about it for nights. The weird thing is, she made a suicide attempt herself. But its only selfish when I do it.
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Then she acts like I didn't want her anymore and I just left her to rot without explanation.
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I miss having a best friend. A friend that has been with me a long time. A friend who knows me in and out, a friend who I know in and out.
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I wish I had a friend who knew me. Someone I could go to when times get rough. Schools
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Oops pressed submit
School's hard. I sit at the guidance counselor or the media center alone. All of my friends dont really notice that I'm gone. Nobody at school ever does. -
The only person who knows how stressed I am and how sad I get is my grandma. I don't know how I really get by in school with mostly isolation. There is one girl who talks to me a lot, but the minute E comes along, she forgets about me
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Tomorrows the anniversary and I
I can't help but cry
I just wish I could've done something to prevent it -
What if I unknowingly caused it? I don't want to bring anyone that kind of pain. And now she's gone. Her family, her friends, her little sisters, God there wake was horrible. Open casket. I couldn't help but cry
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Unless I get the reason, I will always blame myself. I just have to. I need a reason.
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