My official thread
- Locked due to inactivity on Mar 3, '19 3:54am
Thread Topic: My official thread
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My thread feels complete
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Every page from now on needs Tibbles -
Man, reading through this shows my mood swings. Eh. I should do ecopop but like why though?
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And here we go again
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The temptations again
And at the end of the night, I am still fine. I was told to fake it until I make it. But I don't know how much longer I can fake it until it gets serious again.
Although deep down I feel I am supposed to die. Like this is how it is supposed to be. All of the thoughts and attempts were a sign. Unless somebody else comes and finishes me off.
But in a way, my mind feels my death will be beautiful, elegant in a way. A girl who spends her life in her mind to protect herself from the harm of the outside world, only to have it end up that she was the harm that caused her own death. Its poetic. But, you can phrase anything to be poetic. -
These feelings are only temporary, Paige.
Depression and suicidal thoughts are real, and they are torture. But they are temporary. You have to keep pushing through and finding things to grab onto. Life is more than hormones and tears. You have a purpose, whether or not you can see it. No one was destined to die without meaning. But some people choose death for themselves and then their life is wasted. Don't be one of those people.
^that was literally the biggest heap of BS I have said all week -
On the other side, there is actually probably nothing out of the ordinary.
Everyone has depression and anxiety, I have a normal case.
I know I'm overreacting when my brain tells me that there is something wrong with me.
But it doesn't feel normal. Nothing feels normal.
Having nothing going on in your mind unless its suicidal isn't normal. It might be, but my grandma said it isn't.
But what is she implying then? That I have another mental issue? Or a serious depression problem? That can not be. I won't let it. It just doesn't make sense. I was never raped or in a war zone or witnessed a murder or something. So why would something be wrong with me?
Its all so frustrating. Its even harder to tell people my feelings and stuff and not type it. Typing is so much easier because no one knows exactly who I am. And if they do, typing isn't as loud as talking about it in peoples heads.
Everything is so frustrating. On one hand, I know I'm fine. On the other, I'm totally not fine. Is there actually something wrong? As much as I hope nothing is, part of me feels like none of this normal.
I can't help but repeat myself. This is all that ever really goes through my mind. Why can't I think of anything else? Why is everything all gloom and doom? I hate it -
Shot sorry that was late.
What's up Hicc? -
*s---
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Oh yeah this place censors stuff lmao
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~Penny~
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Penny
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Yo yo yo
Nothin much, just wasting my time being a s---ass when I should be in bed lol
Honestly what you're going through is totally normal. I have a better life than probably 95% of the American population and I still have depression issues like crazy. It's just part of being a teenager. -
Yeah I know I just have bad bad bad mood swings
Lmao I'm doing the same thing. I have school tomorrow for half a day then summer -
Anything cool happen recently with you?
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