Show me where my armour ends, show me where my skin begins
- Locked by Dark22978 on Dec 31, '17 10:07pmReason: Owner's request. Starting anew.
Thread Topic: Show me where my armour ends, show me where my skin begins
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I feel like I'm detached from reality sometimes. It's almost nauseating how removed i feel.
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Oh my god i think i have actual feeling for L
f--- me
Actually f---ing kill me i can't do this i just -
She gave me her hoodie Tuesday because I said i wasnt feeling well and it was.. Actually very grounding? Like my anxiety makes me feel floaty and out-of-body sometimes and the hoodie really helped and she hasn't asked for it back and I've been wearing it almost constantly and it just makes me.. happy
And idk she leans her head on my shoulders sometimes and puts her legs on my lap and sometimes she just makes me really happy and i just
Like i can see myself dating her. I can see myself falling for her eventually but
Idk i don't think i want that rn. -
Waiting for the house to be empty so i can shower, dress and get my bag ready.. and then i wanna nap 'till i have to leave
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"I honestly just want her to sit on my face"
I can't believe he actually said that ohmygod -
"What entity do i have to sacrifice a couple hundred virgins to to get her to let me kiss her m y g o d"
From kink af to vanilla af and sweet?
Usually i don't like listening to people complain about their crushes for so long but he's hilarious -
I cant wait to turn 18 and dye my hair pink and get a nose piercing
And tattoos
Tattoos for s u r e -
Idk I'll probably do the hair first
God i feel sick rn -
In the bathroom throwing my lunch up because f--- taking care of myself, idk why i try anymore
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Dont call me a slut because i literally call myself that on the daily so if you're trying to hurt me you're failing
I own those terms, slut, whore, ect. They used to hurt me but now I'm like "yeah ig" -
I've been trying to sleep in this tiny ass, claustrophobic and hot as f--- room for a while because I'd rather suffocate than see him because he hasn't changed much in 10 years
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I keep picturing myself back in that closet and him.. I just. Wish I would have been a little older, a little smarter. I didn't realize what had been done until years later and now it doesn't matter.
Idk but I'm getting chills again -
The first person I told was Ashley and Juli, back in 7th grade or so.. We were in line for lunch and I was like, hey, my nephew did some really weird s--- to me when i was seven and he was like twice my age and then i told them and they were like "well that's f---ed" and idk
But like. It stays with you. I was sexually assaulted at least once every other week for almost a year. I still have nightmares, I wake up in a cold sweat and I have to sleep with a nightlight on. It is never, ever going to leave me. I don't like people putting their hands on the back of my head when we kiss and I don't like people being pressed close to me in dark rooms.
And when I say I don't like things like that, I mean it f---s me up. It takes me back to that place, at seven, f---ing defenseless and so. f---ing. trusting. And idk but even his name f---s me up but like i
Just want to be able to go to my sisters house without being scared of him showing up -
I cant even check to see if he's gone because i will throw up if i see him and
Just
Today has been enough of an emotional rollar coaster -
I need to sleep but i know I'm going to have a bad dream
f---
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