I'm staying offline for the rest of the week.
- Locked due to inactivity on May 12, '17 3:54am
Thread Topic: I'm staying offline for the rest of the week.
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The internet became stressful today and I just want a break. I have better things to do for the March Break. Goodbye. I might read post in my role plays of course, but I won't post for now.
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I'm seriously sorry if I was the one that made you mad
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Not just you. Dew, a friend of mine, and other things. I'm mainly stressed because I decided to be myself on GTQ instead of being this annoying girl who only cares about her hate for society and trying to keep her reasons and stuff quiet. I'm still a bit like that in real life. But I felt I could be myself here. And it seemed to work out. But today I'm really stressed and wondering if it was a mistake to put down my mental shield. Because now all this criticism is starting to get to me and I started getting mad and now I just feel silly. Silly for my reasoning behind my characters and plots... Silly for trusting people... Silly for a bunch of stuff. Maybe things will get better but I just want to try to take a break from the internet starting tomorrow and see what happens... then consider what to do next. One of the friends who helped me be myself on GTQ hasn't been on lately. And I don't know... Now I'm rambling again so I'm just gonna stop and post this...
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Was the friend who helped you dark shadow 99?
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being yourself is the s--- man
don't let idiots make you get off of here
i mean there are several people who should actually leave but you aren't one of them -
haha
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No. Puppet master actually. They were kinda my enemy back when I was pretending to be society hating nutcase who was filled with positivity. But then Puppet started seeming a lot nicer. So I went back to my old post and saw how annoying and overly positive I was trying to be. No wonder some people thought I was a troll back then. So I explained why I put those walls up. And decided to take them down. For GTQ, at least. So me and Puppet became friends.
It wasn't the trolls or idiots bugging me today though. I can handle those guys. All the people criticizing me today were friends. My best friends brother, one of my favorite roleplay partners... Criticism really hurts when you have no idea if it's true, but you trusted that person. Normally I'm used to it, because of the walls I mentioned. But everywhere that I felt comfortable being myself has stopped making me feel comfortable. And then I got mad and revealed something personal and now I feel silly... I'm sorry if I'm over reacting... -
And no one asked you Geek. Shoo. Off with you.
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I'm going to bed. Good night. See you on Sunday.
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I'm sorry...
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It's not your fault. It might be mine, it might be no ones. I might change my mind tomorrow but right now I'm just confused and stressed and I need some rest so I don't feel depressed.
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PigRabbit NewbieWhat in the world?!
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I'm sorry if I caused people worry. Last night I was very over stimulated. You see, I have Autism. And that can make my emotions very chaotic. I don't have levels of emotion like everyone else does. If I have an emotion, its maximum that emotion.
So, I was trying to be patient and calm as always when Trolls, people, and even friends kept bothering me. I finally calmed down. Then I went on a shopping spree with my sister. It was awesome! So I was bouncing off the walls happy! But... I was still over stimulated. So when more criticism from a friend began that level of happiness quickly flipped to depression, fear, and stress. So I made that decision.
Here's another explaination about my Autism that might be more clear.
Imagine a train. This train is the train of thought. My train runs two or three times faster than everyone else. So at first, my voice couldn't pick up the trains load. So I could barely talk. Instead of what most people like me would try to do, which is slow the train down, I got my voice to get on the train. So it says the entire train of thought out loud lie I'm uh... doing... now... oh well. I'll continue. That's why I'm a chatter box now. Sometimes my train misses a station, which is where I need to pick up what someone else said. So I hear you, but your voice doesn't reach my thoughts. That last part doesn't happen online. So it's easier to make friends.
Now, that train of thought sometimes goes so fast that it becomes an airplane. I'm basically talking to myself by this point and probably won't notice what's happening around me unless it's important. Finally, this airplane turns into a rocket ship. This is a pure state of emotion. Happy, scared, confused, mad, sad, whatever. It's just pure emotion. But this rocket ship can easily crash if I feel the least bit stressed. Because things are off routine in the rocket ship, so I'm over stimulated.
Crashing used to cause melt downs. But because I was afraid of hurting people I have a mental meltdown. And attack myself. But I'm back to my train of thought now and that's the best stage for decision making. I'm really sorry for making others stressed or worried. I just get scared easily. But I'll continue GTQ. Especially since there's a role play I want to post in. LOL! Sorry if I wrote too much. I hope you're able to read this. -
Hi
R u okay? -
Yeah, I am now. I'm sorry if I caused you worry. If you read my post above it explains why I made that decision. But now that I'm calm I changed my mind.
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