You clicked your heels and wished for me
- Locked due to inactivity on Nov 5, '17 3:54am
Thread Topic: You clicked your heels and wished for me
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I'm really f---ing cold
I wish he were here I wish I could call him
I f---ing don't want to ever rely on someone ever again but i do with him and i HATE it -
I know the feeling. :/
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I'm posting here to keep myself from self harming because it's my only other coping mechanism
It is 1:54
I work at 11:45
Needa leave by 11:10
Breathe breathe breathe -
I feel sick i feel sick f---
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Is posting here more unhealthy than self-harming because I'm seriously starting to consider it
f--- i should call Ky I know I can
Or any of them but i
Don't want to i don't want to stress them out i just
It'll pass I can do it on my own
I don't need to hurt myself to make it go away
I'm past that. I'm past that. -
Okay okay if I can't get myself under control by 2:15 I'll let myself do it because f--- this is bad i
Ugh -
I just really don't want to depend on them and I do and it sucks because man I'm so f---ed up
I don't even deserve them -
Realistically i know i was happy today
I know i enjoyed the movie and food and cemetery but
f--- i cant
f---ing tell myself i was which is a contradiction -
Actually no I'm doing it now
Ahhh just once -
i want to f---ing talk to someone and it sucks because I have people to talk to
Literally a whole f---ING group
But it'd get back to A
And even if it didn't i don't want to upset them i just f---ing can't do this right now i did it twice and it didn't help
My lighter is out and i don't f--- with candles anymore
And i really dont want to f---ing deal with myself right now i wish i had an off button -
Im sorry i know i hurt you but f--- it f---ed me up too
Really. f---ing. Bad.
And most of it was me.
f---, all of it was me. -
And I'm sure you know what the abbreviation means but
It's irrelevant I'm just self destructing
Like always
My chest burns
How many times do i have to do this -
I don't know how many times I've had the same thought tonight
My skin is crawling
I feel like it fits wrong -
It's 2:15 but i already did it
I have other stuff i could use but i
f---ing know i shouldn't
I have an illness and it's eating me alive right now i just want to sleep for a hundred years -
My throat is crawling i feel full of ants and fleas
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