Land of Stars and Echoes
Thread Topic: Land of Stars and Echoes
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I've had a solid few days now of just thinking, "watch your breathing, stay calm, if you let your mind wander for a single second you're going to freak out" and it's kinda stressful, ngl
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I never have picked up on the art of remaining calm under pressure
online, it's easy
I can take my time, let my emotions subside and think about what's left rationally
I can choose my words carefully, proofread, and be sure I mean what I say
in person, in real time, it's a lot harder
I know she wants to lecture me
I know it'll come soon, the rant about how I need to get out of the house, I need to go do something, I'm only making myself worse
I won't be able to maintain my composure
I know this is bad
I know
none of the solutions I can think of are going to come through for me
I'm scared the only one left is suicide -
part of me is still thinking, this could be okay
things were nice last time I worked at Taco Bell
and I had a different debt to pay back then, didn't I?
I managed
of course, the cost of living has gone up for me
and I really don't want to stop contributing to my savings account
I was so proud of myself for starting it -
she's home
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I miss looking forward to things
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wow, jumped all the way from newbie to experienced
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Some of these accounts are a lot older than I remember.
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I'll be alone indefinitely when lacie goes to sleep
that won't be long
what am I gonna do lmfao -
It wouldn't matter if anyone were here, I guess. I can't feel the company anymore.
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I sang a song and then lowered the pitch
I don't know how I feel about it -
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