Land of Stars and Echoes
Thread Topic: Land of Stars and Echoes
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I have allowed complete strangers into my car because she tried for years to make me afraid of people. I know that a large part of my doing this is just my desire to help people, but I also can't deny the satisfaction I get from knowing that she would be furious if she knew.
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She still has control of me.
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It's definitely not the kind of control she wanted. I'm sure she would prefer if I was still afraid of her. I'm sure she'd like me to back down every time she raises her voice or gives me that look.
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I know I'm stronger now, though, because I won't. I f---ing refuse.
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The day I learn to go through life without letting her influence my choices whatsoever will be the day I have defeated my most trying obstacle.
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Hahahaha. This got derailed really quickly. Let me try again.
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I created my name during the time I was the weakest version of myself.
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I have kept it in spite of having mostly moved on from its muse, because it has accompanied me through my most difficult times and seen me change into the person I am now. I feel a very strong attachment to it and the changes it represents.
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But when I do finally change my legal name, I don't think it will be to this one.
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I think that the name I intend to keep for the next part of my life is Road.
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I make a new name for myself every time I get a new muse. It's simple, really. Any time I feel a connection with a character, I make a name following the same format as theirs and keep their last name. For Road, my muse is Roxy Lalonde.
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Roxy is a character in Homestuck. The format for her name was four letters, beginning with "ro".
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Roxy is an incredibly complex character.
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She comes across as a cheerful, flirtatious person. She idolizes her friends. It makes me really happy, actually, to see the lengths to which she'll go for the people she loves. She speaks so kindly of them, not just to them, but to anyone who will listen. She strives to make the world and the people around her happier, more peaceful. She is extremely intelligent; she's a writer with a huge vocabulary and she's a gifted "hacker". In another timeline, it's implied that she became a scientist. She is also a powerful warrior- she was ultimately the one to slay the batterwitch.
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Upon her introduction, it's clear that she's an alcoholic. It can be inferred that she uses alcohol as a coping mechanism for a lot of loneliness and self-disgust. Her drinking problem affects her friends and her ability to help them when they need her hugely, and eventually, she overcomes it. (I'm so proud of her!)
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