The Destruction of Everything
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:34pm
Thread Topic: The Destruction of Everything
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WHY DO YOU STAY UNTIL YOU SEE BLOOD?
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they're made for each other dammit -
as long as you keep saying things like that I won't need to make an appearance in those threads
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(although I should mention that I hide every post from recent posts)
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(i forgot bro)
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dammit I don't ship this why am I looking up pictures
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no -
no -
NO NO NO NO NO NO NONONONO NO -
nope too late I guess it's happening
guess I'll just lay back and accept it -
And I have been told what I can do with this quiet rage,
churning like storm clouds behind my eyes.
Hold it behind my teeth and let it slip discreetly from my lips
in venomous shards embedded in the spaces between my words
so that no one even realizes theyre being attacked.
I have learned to utilize this anger in acts of violence
against myself and only myself,
that the public should not be forced to cope with my pain.
To take my fury in my hands and let it sink into my skin,
to let it sprint across my wrists and bury into my shoulders,
to welcome it like I would a beloved friend,
because thrashing for the rest of my life would be so very tiring.
I have heard a thousand voices laughing, joking,
misunderstanding my intentions and mistaking me for harmless
and I have imagined a thousand deaths fit for a liar.
You see, Ive been planning for years.
Reached that point where there isnt a point
and Im ready to start acting on impulses Im afraid of
just to prove that point (or lack thereof).
You see, now Ive been spiraling down,
not into Hell or depression like I so thought,
but into acceptance that there is no quieting the voice of anger.
7.17.2015
12:14 AM -
And then I keep smiling. Motherf---. I'm buying right into this s---. I just keep smiling, and faking that stupid f---ing patient voice and letting them talk down on me and oooooohhh god. I'm so angry. I try so hard. I'm trying to be nice to people, but they're all getting so close and they have no idea and then they makes f---ing jokes about how scary I am and I just keep smiling and they walk away and just go about their lives not knowing how close they just got to touching death.
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I'm going back tomorrow. I shouldn't be so angry about this. The conditions are so much better. I have to get over this.
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*hugs* sorry you feel this way, maru. that is all. i'll leave you alone now.
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I can't possibly scream loudly enough to express how f---ing angry I am. I don't see why this is so hard. I don't care who it is. I don't care how important you are to me or whether you're f---ing trying to make me feel better. I don't want to see it. I can't f---ing stomach it. I asked one thing. And now there's an image of this right here that I'm going to have to look at it and it's making me nauseous I did not ask for anything difficult here.
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