Batman's Cave
Thread Topic: Batman's Cave
-
care_bear19 Novice*smiles* I know.
-
Do you know what's weird? When I speak to Panda, I feel weird. I know we flirt. We do kinda...bad. I didn't even know I was capable of flirting anyway. But surprisingly I actually managed to. And we always have these rare moments when we are serious. Talking about relationships, or being hurt. Or just love and pain in general. Care, what does that mean?
-
I want people to know my story. To finally understand why I am. To understand this is the person I am, but what caused it. I want people to know this. To finally see me. Because I'm tried of wearing a mask all the time. Tired of being scared of being vulnerable. I'm tired of all these habits. All these habits that have been good to me now, but won't be in the future. I know this, but even hiding away behind these things I still have my common sense in tact. But at times, I don't want it to be in tact. I want to be able to do something and not predict the worst scenario possible. At time I want to go somewhere, and not know what's happening. So I can be clueless, and wait for a surprise.
-
I might just do it. I just might....
-
I never met my father. I was told he abused my mom, cheated on her on multiple occasions. I never did. I never experienced him with the naked eye. I see one photo of him, with long black curly hair, deep tanned skin, he was tall. I remember my mother telling me that he was near the seven foot range. But with me, I got my mom's shortness. So did my sister. The funny thing is, my sperm donor doesn't even know I exist.
My first memory I had, it was very difficult to comprehend at first. I remember I was about two. I heard my mom screaming about something while I was drawing on the walls in black Sharpie. I heard quite a lot of loud noises, banging, and cries for help. I didn't know what was wrong, so I didn't bother with it. After a few minutes, the cries didn't stop, and I started to get hungry. I walked into my mom's bedroom to tell my mommy. I didn't know better, I didn't know what was happening. But when I turned the knob, still hearing the creak of the door, I seen my mom in tears, with blood rushing down her back. I screamed.
I didn't know why this bad man would hurt my mommy. Only yesterday they were saying I love you to one another. And now he hurts her. Why did he? My question was never answered. My mom started screaming at me to leave, and not me too. What did she mean by that? I didn't understand at the time. So I walked over to my mommy, and attempt to kiss her boo-boos. I was halfway to the bed, before I felt something grab my shoulder, throwing me into the mirror. I remembered the pain of the glass digging into my back. I screamed again, crying. Yelling at the bad man to stop. But he didn't stop. I looked at my mom, tears blinding me. She gave me a look, of disapproval and hurt. I realized then that I was going to take any pain for my mom, so I didn't need to see that look ever again on her face. My mom's face was beautiful, deep red hair, pale white skin, high cheekbones with bright blue eyes. But these eyes were dull, not like my mommy's blinding ones. I knew she was hurting.
The man started toward my mom again, and I screamed. A blood curdling scream that continues to haunt me. He turned around with disgust on his face. Curses were spat, I didn't know if he knew any other words than the curses. But I didn't push. He turned around again, giving his attention to my bloody mother. I screamed louder, and he turned around again. Pissed. He shouted words, and I cried. I didn't know what was going to happen. But I knew it was bad, and I knew this bad man couldn't hurt my mother. He gripped my arm tightly, and threw me onto the bed. He pulled my pants down.....he raped me right in front of my own mother. Making her watch, and if she looked away, he would flick his lighter and press it against my thigh. Each second hurt worse than before. Every second. I screamed for him to stop. I struggled, kicked. It hurt. He was too strong. He made my mother watch him taking away my innocence right there. My mom wouldn't look at me after it happened. She said only a few words to me that seemed to haunt me: He did this because of you. It's your fault I'm like this. It's your fault. It's your fault. Everything is your fault. -
A few months later, I heard a knock at the door. I thought my Aunt Di was already here. So I ran to it, opening the door and already sprung attempting to hug my Aunt Di. It was someone else.
I looked at the person's leg I was grasping, Not a female's. I thought, I looked up to see a man starring at me, with confusion in his eyes. I quickly stumbled away from the stranger, shutting the door. I yelled for my mom, and she came. She was limping from another interaction with her boyfriend. My mother was puzzled, why was I screaming? I told her there's a strange man at the door. She went to open it, and cried. I didn't know why she was. She opened it, and told them they had the wrong person. That she wouldn't let them take her children. I was so confused, why is my mom crying about her children being taken away? Who's this strange man? I asked my mom why she was crying over this man, and she answered me. CPS
I didn't know what that meant. But I knew it was bad, I hugged my mom's leg. The man said things to my mom I didn't understand. I remember one name though, Tim Shepherd. I didn't understand how my father's name was brought up in this mess. I started to ask my mom, but the man came in. He made a sign to someone, and more people started coming out of nowhere and went into my house. I started to run and find my oldest bubby. I was positive he wouldn't let these men take us. I didn't get ten feet until I felt a pair of hands grab my hand. I look up and seen a strange woman smiling. Why would you smile at the fact of taking my mother's children? I thought, I pulled away. I attempted to loosen her grasp and run.
My struggles were a waste because that only made her grip tighter. After my refusal, she carried me. I kicked and screamed loudly. I thrashed, if it had an affect on her she didn't show it. She carried me all the way to a van. A dark blue one, with green mixed in. She put me into the car, and attempted to hold me down. One by one I seen my siblings being restrained. the oldest one, Charlie needed three people to finally retrain him, while Richard needed two, and Nick needed two as well. My sister Skylr fought, more than I did. She needed two women to finally get her restrained.
They piled us into the car, one by one. I cried, and slept through the ride. Ending up in this one building. I didn't understand what else was happening, the rest was a blur. I seen my brothers getting taken away by another family. With only my sister left, I hugged her. I cried, and cried. I remember my sister and I being taken away by another family. A dark skinned family that looked like they hated us from the start.
Weeks passed and it wasn't getting any easier. They decided us being potty trained was too much to handle and put us in diapers. They rarely changed them. For a while we slept on the floor, with a thin cotton blanket that was barely big enough for my body. They decided to put us on cardboard boxes, and we slept there. For food, it was simple. You eat or your starve. Our dinners and lunches and breakfasts usually contained hard macaroni and bread. We would get a small cup of water if they felt generous. But if we were bad....we got punished....
I remember one day was hell. My sister and I were playing on the wooden stairs that leads up to the the hallway, which leads to my foster parent's bedroom and the attic,(where our bedroom was) we played this ridiculous game. I don't remember the name of it, just that the person who reaches the bottom first wins. I remember intense screaming, and mine and Skylr's name. They were angry, but I focused my attention on the game. Skylr was a lot farther down than me, and I was fixated on beating her. I heard footsteps behind me. I was close to the top. They were still angry, I remember the woman coming closer to me. A furious look on her face I wanted to avoid. I tried going to down faster. I didn't realize the couple was right behind me. After going down faster, I almost fell. I quickly grabbed onto the railing, steadying myself. I know I didn't loose balance, I felt a force against my back, and I went tumbling down the stairs.
The experience was gruesome. I heard bones breaking, and there was so much blood. I remember my sister screaming JOZY! JOZY! I don't remember much after that. But when I came out of the hospital, the couple continued to call me Jozy Bones for me to remember that event. And for me to remember that they have marked me. -
Why is it so cooolllddd!!!!!!!????????
-
Jozy, email.
-
Kay Cap.
-
Bump.
-
Anyone?
-
Silence......*sigh*
-
care_bear19 Novice*hug tackles*
-
I'm watching Happy Feet 2. I love dis movie.
-
JOZY!!!!!
Post a reply as a guest or Log In
REMEMBER:
- Do not harass or insult other people. Treat others how you'd like to be treated.
View all 10 forum rules
- Do not harass or insult other people. Treat others how you'd like to be treated.
View all 10 forum rules
