my new official thread.
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:33pm
Thread Topic: my new official thread.
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I give up, this music isn't fulfilling anymore.
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Okay, I am comprising. I am listening to the piano synthesis so I don't indulge the lyrics.
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This is just dragging me in deeper.
mhh, maybe I should elaborate details. -
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Vs.
Vs.
Vs.
Vs.
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I want to know you
There's so much at stake
Can't face the memories
They bend me till I break
Hiding from the past
But it's eating me alive
Can't block it out
When it's coming from inside
Every turn leads me to a new dead end
Lost again, I'm screaming your name
Come close, come close
And call my name
How can you turn your back on me
When you know my pain
Stay close, stay close
Light up the night
Save me from the part of me
That's begging to die
Precious denial, a stone to break my back
The chains I carry won't cut me any slack
Imprisoned by fear with no room for my heart
My only hope, only you can heal the scars
Every turn leads me to a new dead end
Lost again, I'm screaming your name
Come close, come close
And call my name
How can you turn your back on me
When you know my pain
Stay close, stay close
Light up the night
Save me from the part of me
That's begging to die
Stay by my side
If you leave me I will die
Stay by my side
If you leave me I will die
Stay by my side
If you hold me I will fly
If you hold me I will fly
Will you hold me
Come close, come close
And call my name
How can you turn your back on me
When you know my pain
Stay close, stay close
Light up the night
Save me from the part of me
That's begging to die
[x2] -
*just so you know, firefight is the band that I am supposed to be listening to, so if I keep posting them then be glad, but if I stop then you ought to worry.
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Well, now that I have reread all of my other pages I have come to an conclusion. I am really making no sense now, am I? I have gone on about things that I say are horrible but fail to give my explanations as to why they are horrible. In fact none of you know why I was contimplating suicide still. When you get back I promise to give a long, through, contridicting answer.
Right now I apologize for going on about absolutely nothing. -
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I have a hobby now...
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Anyone on?
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[poll.jYO]
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... I broke. *sigh* and I was on such a streak...
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Great, just great.
I give up completely.
See you later, I have homework and consideration to work on.
if I don't come back on its because this whole Damm thing spawned from rebellion and I have stopped kicking against the goads. I highly doubt I will give up and give in, and I will probably get worse over the next few days but I can assure you that I won't do anything dumb & or unreasonable.
My suicidal thoughts formed first, when my grandfather died and I had two weeks to think about his departure. That mixed with my rebellion and anger poured with some pretty unhealthy music trends that I got myself into when my dad gave me a copy of his Playlist. That mixed with my anger over school, which slid into my lack of social skills, which blend perfectly with my self disgust and (maybe) delusional thoughts that I am the reason you guys are in pain. All this complemented the fact that I am getting pretty sick of routine life that I can't change.
whether or not that is reasonable is besides the point.
Also, I will be honest, I am really self indulged right now and have done one to many things here that were selfish and immature just for attention. I don't want to be that person anymore but I can not get away from her.
Note that I am not considering this all anymore(or at least not currently ), because on Sunday I got the pleasure of going to harvest chapel with my mom and on top of the immense Christian surroundings, and Kens God given, amazing teaching skills, the pastor's message happened to be about heaven and death. Without going into detail let's just say I dismissed the thought halfway through the sermon.
So yeah....
Oh but I still need help with my music disfunction because if I have love the way you lie on repeat and if I don't stop soon I will become depressed and pull myself back into all that I have worked to get out of.
Anyways goodnight. -
May I ask you a qiestion. Who are you?
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