I'd appreciate if you read this
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:18pm
Thread Topic: I'd appreciate if you read this
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It's the only way I can explain what I feel.
Here we go...
When I was little, I grew up with no father and no memory of my sister or twin brothers. You kept me away from them. But I was happy. I had you and that was all I needed. We lived in a humble home, nothing special. We lived a humble life too. I grew up being a farmer.
You were there all the time for me. You were there when I had my first steps. You were there when I cried. You were there when I got over all my fears.
When I was older, we moved to another country. I met my dad for the first time. I met my siblings. Although now you had a new set of responsibilities, you were always there for me whenever I needed or wanted you.
But one day, my older brother was killed at war. I was too little to understand what was going on, but for you it felt like it was a shot to the heart. You had lost your son. You became so unattached to the world that I noticed and I wanted to change you from being so sad. But I just couldn't do anything.
You stopped being there for a long time. Through Preschool, I knew bothering you wasn't the best thing to do. At the middle of preschool, you got a job and it made things worse.
When I went to kindergarten, my other two siblings had taken me instead of you. I asked why you weren't there, and they said you were busy.
When I came out of kindergarten, I was more than happy to see you finally be happy and to see you during the day, to see you smiling as I culminated. When we got home, you took me to the park and I played until it was dusk.
First grade was the same happiness. You were always there for all the ceremonies I took part in. I would always see you, hair neatly done, waving and clapping when my name would be called for a diploma.
But in second grade, things changed.
The youngest of the twins passed away for reasons I hardly even know to this day. You tried to ignore it but I knew that you felt hurt, the same way I did. But you felt it more, I hardly understood what was going on.
I thought you would move on. And you did. You continued with work, but you couldn't connect to your family.
But for our Christmas recital, you weren't there. You weren't there for the math competition I won. You weren't there for the spelling bee competition I won as well.
In third grade, you weren't there for any of my events either.
It remained like that, even through sixth grade it stayed. When we went to the Science Olympics, you were the only parent that didn't come. You never came to any of my parent conferences. You didn't come at around the end of the year.
This was how sixth grade was spent, watching all the children with their parents while I hung around with the teachers. In my mind, I always had this hope that you would come. But you never did.
And it was never because any of the deaths. It was because you had so much work. But you couldn't connect anymore because of the deaths.
During sixth grade culmination, I knew you weren't going to be there. But you were, and with my dad. And I was really happy. I felt all the problems of before were finally going to be solved.
In that time you finally began to let go of the past, and finally you realized you had to move on. And you seemed to recooperate quickly.
But now in the seventh grade, the problem of work rose to the breaking point. At the beginning of the year, there was a ceremony for those who had scored high on the previous year's testings. I asked you to come, and you said you would come.
On the day of the ceremony, I fixed my hair and put on my newest uniform short and pants. And when they called my name, I looked around. Yet I couldn't find you. Something in me died.
Everyone had their parents come. I was the only one still seated when they were taking pictures. My music teacher had felt so much pity that he asked if I wanted him to take a picture with him.
But I was positive you would come. I waited until the ceremony ended, and you still didn't come. My music teacher sensed something was wrong and told me that maybe you forgot. But I didn't want to listen to him.
I was still hoping that you'd come, even late.
But when I got home that afternoon, I asked why you hadn't gone. You didn't even know what I was talking about.
There was a series of ceremonies after that, and in all I was also invited to them. I asked you but you always said you had work. And from the last ceremony, I never asked you again. The answer would always be the same.
A few days ago, I gave you a diploma. And you were angry. You wanted to know why I hadn't told you anything about the ceremony.
"Because all you do is work! Work! Work! I'm the only kid whose parents aren't there! Do you know how that feels? My music teacher felt pity for me! What does that say?"
"I work because I have no other option? Do you want me to get fired?"
"But you've been constantly ignoring me all these years! I know you know how it feels like to be raised without a mother! I don't want it to be that way from now on! Or do you hate me? Am I the one that causes your misery?" I shouted in Spanish. "Because if you do, admit it! Admit that you want me dead! Say it right now, because this is the only time I'll forgive you!"
It was as if I had said the magic words. Your face went blank and you turned almost lifeless. You backed out of the room without a single word.
We haven't actually talked since that. I've felt bad for making you cry later on. I knew that mentioning my grandmother was something that was just completely horrible.
But at the same time, it was as if I had gotten a horrible secret out of myself. It felt good but at the same time I felt terrible.
Last night you yelled at me. I yelled back. We argued in Spanish. It ended with you threatening to take away all my books, my sketchbooks, and my electronics.
It's like a terrible wall had rose between the both of us.
But all I wanted to do was make things right. I've only managed to separate us further. -
The Geek NoviceI dont think its real. but good story if you want to read a sad one
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wow
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D: Alice... *hugs tightly but makes sure you can breathe* I'm really sorry, truly. You don't deserve this one bit. Nothing I say sounds enough to express how I wish I could change this...
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Is this...True?
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It is tue.
My poor mint baby. ;-; You've been through so much. *huggles* -
I'll let you decide yourselves if you think this is true or not. I'm not explaining further.
And thank you Ana and Mo. >.>" It's alright. I will fix this somehow.. -
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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flutterwing Novice!
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It's okay, you don't have to explain how you feel. I would still understand
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