My (new) Writings
- Locked due to inactivity on Jun 20, '23 3:54am
Thread Topic: My (new) Writings
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I gave up on my other thread in which I posted my stories and what I wrote, but I’ve decided to get back into it
Criticism is appreciated just don’t go overboard I’m an anxious human bean
And well yeah that’s it I guess -
This is a little bit of a backstory for a world I’m making, for a girl named Lyssa. It’s only created to help me grasp better what happened in the past
Oh cheezits I guess you’d get literally no context for this
Welp that’s how it goes sometimes :) I’ll explain later
My family is prestigious, my family is respected, my family is inspiring.
My family is prestigious, my family is respected, my family is inspiring.
My family is prestigious, my family is respected, my family is inspiring.
How did I get here?
Doubting my family’s greatness, constantly having to remind myself of their status, their intelligence, their power?
About to make a decision that could get me killed? -
Noooo the indentions didn’t save
Indents? Indentations?
Just pretend they’re there -
Ok here’s some explanations and context:
Alistaire Family History
BEGINNINGS
Long, long ago, the Alistaires bargained with supernatural spirits because they wanted power. They begged for powers and status, and after years of pleading, their persistence paid off.
Each member of the family has a different ability. The ability can be very mild and tame, or it can be incredibly brash and dangerous.
The family also gained the second part of their wish—they became the most prominent family across the galaxy.
But, in return for this gift, they donned a curse. -
THE CURSE
The members of this family, once old enough, begin to have a desire to kill, destroy, or come out on top. This desire can be turned into a need; causing them to go to any means necessary to meet their goals.
Why do they feel like this?
Due to a curse laid upon them many years ago, each member of the family will gradually begin to feel more violent/murderous. Once they reach adulthood, there is no stopping it. No one knows why the curse was created.
The age of 25 is usually when the curse kicks in, making them each untouchable by good and reasoning.
They will continue to harm whoever crosses them, and they will practice this “craft” until the day they die.
The latest generation of Alistaires is the deadliest of them all. They plan to wipe out the planet, not thinking about consequences or anything—the curse is blinding them too badly. -
Back to the story!
I know it needs *lots* of revisions and editing, but right now this is what I have.
My parents have always looked out for me.
They help me to be my best self, even if their methods are extreme.
I know that my dad’s manipulation of shadows isn’t meant to terrify me. It isn’t meant to intensify my fear of the dark.
He just has my best interests in mind.
He’s just looking out for me.
He’s just pushing me to do my best.
I know that my mom’s offhanded comments aren’t meant to belittle me. They aren’t meant to make me think I’m not good enough, to keep me up at night wondering if I’ve been a disappointment to the Alistaires.
She’s just looking out for me.
Pushing me to do my best.
I know I’m not supposed to rummage around our castle. My parents value their privacy. But today, I feel some sort of sensation pulling me to explore the rooms I’ve never been in.
I obey.
The dark stone and metal hallways of the castle are eerie. I long to escape to one of the balconies on the upper levels, but this feeling is too great to ignore.
Minutes later, I find myself relying on a single hand on the wall to lead me. The hallways are pitch black and the wall is the only reassurance I have. -
I really like your writing style, and the touch of denial the main character seems to be experiencing regarding their parents is perfect. Do you plan to make this an actual book one day?
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Thank you so much!!
Currently, this is just one of my many writings. However, I would LOVE to take this to another level and make it a real book, I think that would make me the happiest ever.
I don’t know if I’ll drop the idea later but currently I think I’d like to make it a book if I can -
Second part:
My feet are starting to hurt after I don't know how long. I keep going, nonetheless. I can’t seem to stop, and I don’t know if that’s good or bad.
A few minutes and I notice a faint light up ahead. It’s eerie, and walking towards it makes my stomach turn somersaults. But it’s too late to turn back now.
I’ve reached the light, and what I find is not what I’m expecting.
I’m in a circular stone room, the only lighting being small stone sconces scattered here and there.
Three doors are evenly spaced around the room. The wood that they’re made of is weathered and old, and I can only guess that they’ve been there for too many years to count.
The sensation is pulling me to go through one, but I don’t know which. Shadows are growing on the wall, and I’m growing scared. Will they jump out at me? Chase me down?
In an attempt to get away, I go through the middle door. -
Third part:
The room is pitch black; even worse than outside. I regret my decision and turn around, only to find that the door has shut behind me. I feel for a doorknob, a latch, a lock, anything that may help me get out of this awful darkness.
Shadows creep toward me, threatening to shatter everything. The blackness around me yells in my head; drowning out any sort of reason.
The inky darkness surrounding me makes my thoughts go awry; my breathing speeds up and before I know it I’m on the ground. The shadows are taking over my head now, burning out any sense of joy or curiosity I may have once had.
The darkness is overwhelming and it swallows me whole. I fall down, down, down, down into the pool of black. Away from reality. Into Fear.
But just as I feel I can’t go on any longer, the darkness gets brighter.
Lights slowly flicker on overhead, as I can see when I cautiously take my head out of my hands. -
If it's not too personal how old are you?
And I'm only asking because this is brilliant writing!! I've read many of your stories and they are all amazing, like I even feel for the characters! You have the makings of an author! Also once you've finished I suggest pasting it to a word document or writing it down and get it published girl! -
I'd prefer not to state my exact age, but I'm in high school.
But thank you so much!!! This really made my day; you are so incredibly kind! -
As a fellow writer, I applaud you. This is some spectacular skill you have here. Keep it up!
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Thank you so much :D!!!
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Also I saw your Percy Jackson next-gen quiz and CAN YOU WRITE THAT ON HERE, THAT'S SO GOOD OMIGOSH-
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