Short Story
- Locked due to inactivity on Mar 29, '20 3:54am
Thread Topic: Short Story
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first chapter of my book!
I am waiting for mom and dad, and uncle Travis, and, well everybody above twelve goes to battles. I morph into a griffin, they tend to be patient, so they would be the best right now.
Two dragons suddenly smash through the door, wrestling each other. “Sandra! Peter!” I yell, “Stop fooling around or the whole house will fall down!” They stop fighting and throw each other dirty glances.
“Sheila is no fun,” mumbles Peter, his dragon breath smokey. Griffins are the enemies of dragons, so sometimes I can’t STAND when they’re annoying.
“Were you two in the city?” I ask them after calming down,”If people saw two young dragons battling each other on the streets then you’d be dead!”
“Why would we go into the city?” Sandra replies,”We know the rules,” Peter says. “But we found out the city is actually called Seattle,” they both said at once. I immediately wonder how they could travel fifty miles in ten minutes, but then remember what family line we have.
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It has been hours since Sandra and Peter came tumbling in. Something was wrong. I could sense it. “Peter! Sandra!” I say trying to hide the panic in my strong griffin voice,”We are going to check on Mom and Dad, and Uncle Travis and Aunt Sue.
“We’re going to battle!” the young dragons said excitedly.
“Follow me!” I yell in the roaring wind. I swoop up into the sky and see Sandra and Peter slowly follow me. I forgot griffins fly faster than dragons and shout at them,”Morph into griffins so we can fly at the same speed!”
“Aww!” they say at the same time while morphing into griffins. We soar through the sky, and I turn towards the battlefield. It is empty, completely empty. Nobody is there. “Where did everyone go Sheila?” Peter and Sandra ask when they land beside me.
For some time I stand in silence.“I know what happened, but I never thought it would happen. It was a myth, it COULDN’T have happened! Dad said they were just chasing away intruders, but I now know THEY WERE LYING! IT WAS TOO DANGEROUS BUT THEY STILL DID IT, AND NOW ALL THE ADDERMANS ARE DEAD!” I scream so loud it echos.
“Sheila,” Peter muttered,”You’re scaring me.” I soon realize griffins are not the answer when you want to be calm in a bad situation. What’s a calm animal? Think, my thoughts can only think of lazy animals, but then it hits me.
“Its okay,” I say.
“Cool you’re a phoenix!” Sandra yells, somehow still unaware that we are the only Addermans alive.
“Look, Sandra, Peter, I’m sorry, but your parents, and grandparents, as well as mine are, um,” I don’t know how to say it even though I just said it more aggressively, “They probably died fighting for us,” I finally said.
Now that I am a phoenix, all of my feelings aren’t blocked by my thoughts. Mom and Dad are gone, and they aren’t coming back. Sadness overwhelms me like a blazing wildfire. But my mind wonders, how have the evil ones risen from the dead? -
Here's some tips: I was completely lost the entire time, because there were too many things going on, and no information behind it. What's this war? Why did it happen? What are these creatures? What in the world is an Adderman? What does Seattle have to do with any of this? Who are these intruders? What are these evil ones?
Your audience is the world, and the world, not yourself. You may know what's going on, but no one else does. -
You could also have Sandra and Peter's reaction after she tells them their family is dead.
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I have no idea what this is but I hope you guys like it ;-;
In a dark room sit a middle-aged couple, who would have been otherwise happy if this heavy burden hadn't been on them.
"You can't just hide her forever," the man said. The woman slammed her fists on the table.
"I can and I will. I can't let them take her."
"Send her to the school."
"No, it's a hoax."
"We have to. We have no choice!"
The woman stood up and went upstairs, to the room where she knew was...her. Her own daughter. She opened the door cautiously and saw her; a six year old girl with red hair, pale skin, blue eyes, and several freckles scattered over her nose.
She felt a tightening in her throat. "Come, Alice," she called. The little girl's face immediately brightened up and she ran to embrace her mother. Her mother took the small child's hand, and led her downstairs.
"Mummy?" Alice asked, curiously.
"Yes, darling, what is it?"
"Where are we going?"
"I'm taking you to a better place. Safer, my sweet."
"But why?"
"Because you must."
"Is it because I'm not like other children?" Alice asked innocently. Her mother took her by the shoulders gently.
"Alice, you're just special. That's all. But try acting normal. Just for one day."
"But I don't want to, Mummy. They're my friends!"
"Who are your friends?" her mother said, barely breathing. She had thought her daughter had only acted odd, odd enough to possibly go to a mental institute.
"There was a little girl who said she was from down the street. We played dollies together."
"Wait here, darling, all right?"
"Okay!" Alice replied, cheerfully.
"We must take her! Dear, it's worse than we thought!"
"What? Why?" the man said, taking his wife into his arms as she cried.
"She played with a little girl who said she was from down the street."
"What's the matter with that?"
"The little girl down the street? She's dead!"
....the end! What did you think? -
uh . . . take her where?
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Good advice dragons fire! I will edit my story so that people get it!
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I'm glad that was useful to you.
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And the story is creepy, like worse than poltergeist! Which is good thing, you are a good writer!
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Thanks!
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