Can you guys to me a favor?
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:32pm
Thread Topic: Can you guys to me a favor?
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I was wondering if the way I wrote this makes any sense, so can you read this poem and tell me what you think the story is? It would mean a lot to me, thanks.
It's a freestyle poem by the way so it doesn't really rhyme or any of that stuff
The World or Rope
I couldn't see behind those windows
They were glazed over with sadness and pain
I couldn't hold the hand that desperately needed it
My fingers just slipped through as if you were a ghost
You sat down and soaked in crimson
But the water flowed clear
As it filled to the brim
Red waterfalls hit the ground
Now you're trapped in a box
Safe from everything
But you left me here standing alone
With a rope in my hands wondering if I should follow
And you left me standing here alone
And for a million years I'll question myself why
I can't see those windows anymore
I can't have my hand slip through the ghost anymore
So I stand here still with a rope in my hand
And the world in my other
And I wonder which path I should take
The weight or the rope
And to this day I still wonder
What made you take the rope -
I think the rope is the way to death and all that because of the ghost verses and "Red Waterfalls", and the world is the cruelness. I guess he/she was thinking of death or the misery of what our world has become. I guess he/she picked suicide, and the last verse sums up the conclusion of him/her taking death.
" And to this day I still wonder"
"What made you take the rope."
I may be wrong though. -
Thanks for the input, means a lot.
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I could still use a few more thoughts on this, that would be really nice .
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What Lightine said, it reminded me if someone took their own life by hanging themselves or something. Yeah, it makes sense.
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KK thanks Madison.
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Guess I should tell you guys what I really meant it to be seen as.
I couldn't see behind those windows
They were glazed over with sadness and pain
The part where it says this, I meant this to be eyes. They were so sad that the sadness inside of them glazed over their eyes and made them dull and lifeless.
I couldn't hold the hand that desperately needed it
My fingers just slipped through as if you were a ghost
This is where they tried to reach out for the person in pain, how i tried to help them, but they just slipped away. They wouldn't tell them what was paining them; how can you help someone who doesn't want to be helped?
You sat down and soaked in crimson
But the water flowed clear
This is the part where they commit suicide. The crimson obviously being the blood, but the water flowing clear is where the tub keeps filling up with water.
As it filled to the brim
Red waterfalls hit the ground
This is the part where they're submerged under water and the bloody water started to fall like a waterfall onto the ground.
Now you're trapped in a box
Safe from everything
Trapped in a box, or trapped in a grave. They're dead now, and they're safe from everything that was troubling them, and safe from themselves.
But you left me here standing alone
With a rope in my hands wondering if I should follow
Now this is where the narrator is depressed. They're left alone since their friend left them by suicide, and the rope in my hands wondering if I should follow is the rope that they want to hang themselves with to see if they can see their friend again.
And you left me standing here alone
And for a million years I'll question myself why
I can't see those windows anymore
I can't have my hand slip through the ghost anymore
This is where the narrator is wondering why their friend took their life, and why they're not there, what made them want to take their life?
So I stand here still with a rope in my hand
And the world in my other
The rope, again, is the rope they wish to hang themselves with, and the world is the oppression from others, and the stress of life, and the dangers.
And I wonder which path I should take
The weight or the rope
Again, the rope being the rope they want to hang themselves with, and the world being the stress, the dangers, the oppression, and everything, and she's wondering if they should kill themselves, or stay on this planet any longer.
And to this day I still wonder
What made you take the rope
And here the rope still being the rope they wish to hang themselves with, or in other words suicide. The narrator is trying to figure out why their friend took their life, and is still questioning that even today.
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