Help!
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:17pm
Thread Topic: Help!
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hackerr NewbieHell, i got into this... not sure wat to call it with my friends mom and i dont know what to do, here is the situation:
so one day at school i decided i wanted to do weightlifting but it is kinda boring to do alone so i invited my friend, she asked her mom if she could and her mom said no and something about it being unsafe, and so i proceed to message her mom on facebook because she has a strange sleep schedule and i dont go over to my friends house much, here is the coversation.
(note: i put in astros cause i dont want names in here)
me
Hey Mrs. *********; i was wondering why u would not want ******* to do some minor weight lifting plz message me with your concerns and i can see if i can alleviate them.
i think i misspelled alleviate
but i think u get my point
then i get a message from friend saying i was rude in my message
August 24
me
according to ******* u found this message rude, i am sorry i did not mean to be rude, but i don't see how my previous message was rude. Basically i want to be able to exercise with *******, if possible, so i would like to know what i can do to allow for that to happen, if this message also sounds rude i appologize.
August 24
me
add on: oh and plz just type me a reply instead of indirectly through *******, her version of things coonfuses me
then my friend tells me that i shouldnt do wat i have been doing, and that i have been rude and that now her mom thinks that she is asking me to do this. and so i get mad and get pissed cause i fel insulted cause her mom is not messaging me back.s
August 25
me
ok, i am getting pissed, i asked you to reply to me directly and once again you only talk to ******* about it, if u have a problem with what i say tell ME about it not *******. i have tried to be polite but apparently you cant see that, also ******* has NOT been asking me to do this i am doing it because i want to spend time with her. so plz if you have complaints about my behavior bring them to ME and i will try to either explain the reason for it or learn from it.
also i am not "just a teen" i am an extraordinarily mature for his age teen, and that is not an exaggeration.
once more i will say this TELL ME NOT ********. and also remember if u want me to respect your wishes u have to respect mine.
P.S. respect does not necessarily mean agree with.
of course i was still haveing my conversation with m friend at the time, and she showed a post then she got offline and i posted on the thread and i found out that messaging on facebook can be considered rude. and so 5 mins later
August 25
me
sorry i wasnt think in that last message, i found out that asking in facebook can seem rude, i apologize i wasnt trying to be rude, but i dont see u in real often and u dont seem to follow a normal sleep pattern so it is hard to call you. once more i apologize for the last message and doing this on facebook
August 25
friends mom
So you are an extraordinarily mature teen- good then you should understand me completely then. My children do not speak to me like that. EVER. I am not about to start taking that kind of disrespect off of a misguided teenager. I do not now nor will I ever have to explain my parenting decisions to you. Asking me to do so is rude and none of your concern. Now for the best part- since you obviously have no respect for Katelyn's mother and have no problem throwing offensive language around I do not believe you to be a good influence on my daughter. Do not ever call my home again or come over here. You have been told and it is documented. If you do so you will be breaking the law. That is a fact. Good day ****.
August 25
me
Ok... first take a look at the message i sent after the previous one, in that message i said that i was mad at the time i wrote it because it seemed to me that you did not deem me worthy enough to actually reply to me. though i will admit that it was very rude and will apologize for that.
also i am not questioning your parenting decisions and i am sorry if my wording created a misunderstand, basically i would have like to do some weight lifting with katelyn, and since it seemed that your main worry was saftey i thought i could eliminate your fears, but i did not know what exactly it was you were worried about so i asked. i apologize if it seemed rude, and that it seemed i was questioning your judgement, but that is not what i was doing.
August 25
friends mom
Never in a million years would I have ever considered speaking to my parents or the parents of one of friends that way. And you would never hear that word come out of my mouth. Myself and Katelyn's Dad have decided that is it. This is not up for debate.
August 25
me
look at it this way, i was mad because you did not even feel like pressing a single key to reply to me, if you had talked directly to me this misunderstanding would never have happened. if you had just typed me a message right after i sent you the first one and told me that i was being rude i would have said sorry that i didnt mean to be rude, i would have asked how i was being rude cause it didn't seem rude to me, and u could have then answered cause i was questioning your parenting decisions and i would have said sorry that was not what i was doing.
and wat do you mean by "that word"?
August 25
friends om
Didn't feel like it- hmmmmm- I have a job working 47 hours a week at night. 5 kids and a Mom who is very ill and needs constant attention. I have friends I have not called back in weeks. I know you don't get that. But now you will
August 25
me
ok, i now understand that you were busy but if you had time to read my message then why did u not type one sentence such as "plz do not question my parenting decisions" and then i would reply with something and u could just not answer until u had time to send a reply, i was not asking for an hour long conversation just at least one minute to reply to the one message i first sent and then u could have waited a day or a week to send another to me.
August 25
freinds mom
None of it matters. This is over. That is final.
and that is what happened it has now been about a week since then. -
You know I'm gonna be rude right now and say this is defintly YOUR fault. For one, it's just weight lifting dude, WHO CARES. You honestly didn't need to message the mom through FACEBOOK forcing her to let her daughter come with you, she's a grown adult and she's Katelyn's mom, SHE makes the decision. And what she said is FINAL. DO I NEED TO CAPS LOCK MY KEYWORDS TO YOU?
One more thing, it was innapropriate for you to use the word 'pissed' in a conversation you were having with an adult through the Internet. And it you wanted to be more convincing and sound 'mature' you should've used proper grammar smart one. This is all your fault and the only way you can avoid it is forget about it and stop messaging the mom. -
By the way, you were extremely rude to her.
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hackerr Newbiei hope you do know that i was not planning on making it into a big deal i asked a question i thought was perfectly reasonable and all i got back was "the message you sent was rude" and when i apologized and said i did not mean for it to be rude all i got back was " that message was rude cause it was rude" and from a secondary source too, that is just insulting. i do not know any other word than pissed to describe what i felt at the time.
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You know, there are such things called synonyms. In a theasarus. They help you find other words than 'pissed.'. You know, much less rude words such as 'furious'. You should use it, smartass.
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It seems like you were, since you kept asking her for a reply and telling her not to send her daughter to you for one. Like I said, mom said no the first time, don't message her through facebook bugging her about it again. Maybe, if you just took the plain no the first time, next time you would've been able to hang out with your friend. Now the mom doesn't even want you near her daughter anymore. I hope you're understanding the main point here, DON'T TALK BACK.
And there are many other words than 'pissed.' Like upset. -
hackerr Newbieone i really only asked about it twice, second unlike you guys i only got bits and pieces of the full story one at a time, i did not understand how i was rude in the first 2 messages until she finally replied to me, so in essence if she had even put "i do not want you to question my parenting decisions" in a message i would have replied "srry that was not my intention" and plz do remember i was mad at the time i wrote the message that had pissed in it, and so i wasn't in the mood to look in a theasourus for a synonym to pissed, cause at the time it seemed like the perfect word.
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hackerr Newbieand i did not want to use furious cause to me it seems like boiling while pissed is like simmering to me
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Perfect word? To use to an adult? Sure. For one, you didn't need to message her in the first place, cause it's just weight lifting and she already said no, so don't talk back. Two, you call yourself mature, but you're not, mature people don't point out that they're mature like how you did, and mature people would've used proper grammar when messaging a person. All I can say that's helpful for right now is, STAY AWAY from her daughter, like she said, and STOP messaging the mom. When the daughter told you to stop, you should've stopped, end of story, now you can barely get near her after you not listening.
There was no need to get mad. -
hackerr Newbieok one i said mature for his age teen, i did not say perfectly mature or that i was perfect or that i can't make mistakes, i was only saying that i am more mature than most teens, which is true, well at least when it comes to teens in my school, second i was not "talking back" i was asking a question. not to mention when my parents say i cant do something and i ask why they tell me. so i asked my friends mom wat her concerns about weightlifting were so that i could understand why. and to me knowing why is really important.
and there was a need to get mad cause i felt like i was being treated like an inferior person just cause i am a teen, and that because of this i did not deserve a direct reply. -
You're misunderstanding everything I'm saying.
What you did, is done now, time to move on, forget about alll of this, it's over -like the mom said-.
I didn't say anything about 'perfect' mature, I was referring to how you said 'pissed' was a perfect word to use when it wasn't.
These are my last words in this argument, I hope you understand what I'm trying to say:
You could've just taken the darn no in the first place, when your friend said that her mom didn't want her to go because she thought it was dangerous, that was her ANSWER and that was her REASON. Like I said a thousand times THERE WAS NO NEED TO MESSAGE HER CAUSE SHE ALREADY GAVE YOU AN ANSWER AND A REASON. If you wanted to go weight lifting with someone, you should've gone with a different person! Quit trying to come up with excuses hackerr. -
How old is this hacker dude? I mean u actually the mom, "im getting pissed" whoa...
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hackerr Newbiebut what i wanted to know was what was dangerous about weightlifting, cause if i knew her concerns with it i could find a way to prevent her worries from happening.
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*actually told the mom...
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hackerr Newbiei am 17 this month and i was getting pissed cause i specificaly asked her to rply to me and she still only told my friend
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