Xx*Feel So Close*xX | Comments

um, well, okay. So I think you have the right idea, you've just got to make it come alive! Try adding more details, better words! I get that you're twelve, but what really helps me is Thesaurus.com, it's a life saver! And don't warn people in the beginning about how bad you think you did, because they'll view it with critical eyes then. I hope I helped!

Hm, not a bad start. I think you should add more details and not introduce so many characters at once, then I think it will be better. Your story definately has potential. :)

I agree with Viola! More detail would be good. This is

Not a bad comment. I just trying to help and i sometimes not have alot of detail in mine. When I first made a quiz on here I was 10. So you will get the hang of it! It bet it will turn out great after you fix some stuff up.

My friend in Science made this if you don't believe me okay. Hi Dezzi if ur reading this. Also I am kinda her Science partner.

I want become a writer!! I love to read too! I agree with @_violalover_ and @singin234 you could use some more details, but the story plot is AWESOME!!!!!!!!!! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!