so american~
- Locked due to inactivity on Oct 11, '24 3:54am
Thread Topic: so american~
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“Mm, it did. A little,” Clay murmured, exhaling shakily. “I still feel like s---, though…”
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“Well, just take it easy, okay? I’ll go get a trash can just in case,” George said softly, walking to his bathroom.
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Clay nodded, rolling over and exhaling softly. He pulled out his inhaler and took a hit, groaning with frustration and weakly throwing it across the room. “Stupid f---ing inhaler…”
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The inhaler almost hits George as he walked back in with the small waste bucket. “Woah, what did it do to you?”
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“It’s not f---ing working,” Clay muttered, his voice shaking.
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“Fair,” George said softly, laying back down next to Clay and gently rubbing his back.
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Clay exhaled shakily, leaning into George’s touch. “Maybe I should just, quit trying to quit,” he mumbled, curling up into a ball. “I feel like s--- all the time, I- It’s too much…”
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“No, honey,” George said softly, gently rubbing Clay’s arm. “I saw his proud you were talking to Kathy and Ed about it today- you wanna give up now?”
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“No,” Clay mumbled, exhaling softly. “But, like- I f---ed up already, when you left- And I know I’m just gonna keep f---ing it up-“
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“Cause it’s really hard to quit, Clay, you know that,” George said softly. “But you know you can go for two months- you just gotta take it day by day.”
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Clay exhaled shakily, nodding. He rolled over and turned to face George, clinging to him. “I’m sorry…”
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“Why are you sorry?” George said softly, rubbing Clay’s back.
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“I dunno, I’m just a mess,” Clay mumbled, squeezing his eyes then immediately regretting it. He winced in pain, his head starting to hurt again. “Sometimes, I- I feel like such a burden…”
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“Well, I don’t think you’re a burden at all,” George said softly, gently massaging Clay’s neck with one hand. “I love helping you.”
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Clay sighed softly, leaning into George’s touch. “I know, I just- wish I could actually believe it…”
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