1x1
- Locked due to inactivity on Feb 10, '21 3:54am
Thread Topic: 1x1
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Michael walked past a house and looked at it for a few seconds as he passed. It looked as if a family was moving in at the moment. There were a few boxes sitting out of the car trunk and a big red SOLD sign on the front lawn. He wondered what would happen between him and them.
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She noticed a boy when she walked out onto the porch. she'll have to talk to him later she thought. then continued to help out her parents
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He went to his house and climbed the back tree. Fewer people would see him there. Michael sat on a branch with a sigh. His aunt and uncle would be coming that day as his legal guardians now. He could tell on the phone call that they weren't happy about it. They'd never liked him. Always put him down, and now they'd have a chance to do it even more.
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The house was small. she'd rather be in her old has but this would have to do. she just hoped it be easier to make friends here then it was in her old town
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Michael thought about what had happened. He had always wondered why he had never been allowed in the basement. His father had always had a thing for science, and had forbidden him to go down there, in case he'd mess one of his experiments up or harm himself with one of them.
Michael had never suspected why. -
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sorry lol)
She looked around the house was confusingly laid out so she wanted to make sure she knew where everything was -
(Hey Vio, do you want some tips to make your responses better?)
Michael saw his aunt and uncle's car pull into the driveway. He jumped off the tree to greet them. They'd only make the next year feel worse. They'd encourage the rumors about how he'd turn out just like his dad. They were awful people. He'd be kicking them out as soon as he turned 18 and was able to live on his own. -
yes please! i actually kinda suck at writing for rps XD)
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(Okay. There's a button on your keyboard called a period. There's another button on your keyboard called a coma. I'd highly recommend using them. Grammar is key.
Also, put more detail in. It makes everything so much more interesting.
So for your last post I personally would have written it like this:
Delilah looked around. Everything in the new house was confusingly laid out and she hardly knew where anything was. She walked around the house so that she could get familiar with everything and had an idea of where everything was supposed to be.
Also, write down their thought processes. People aren't empty shells wandering about doing random things. Thoughts, emotions, memories, everything is such an important part of a person. It's part of what makes them who they are.) -
(me: copies and pastes onto a google doc
all keep that in mind thanks :3) -
(XD now write your response please)
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i shall. this is gonna be rough lol)
Delilah saw a car park at the house beside her. she still wondered about that boy. who was he. what was he like, all these things she worried about. Even though there was no chance he'd ever be her friend, shes not cool enough for that.
actually that wasnt to bad) -
(See? Everything flows much better. You'll improve. Just keep on practicing. I've improved a ton since I first started roleplaying)
(Also you know there's other punctuation you can use. And remember to capitalize letters.)
(And keep everything in the same tense. Don't switch from past to present)
Michael walked between the side of his house and the border to the neighbor's yard to get to the front yard. They glared at him as he walked up to their car. They both stayed silent as they got out of the car and walked into the house, leaving Michael to bring their things in. They had brought Ragger too, that gigantic mutt of a dog. They'd trained him to be mean, especially to him. Ragger followed his owners into the house. With a sigh Michael popped the trunk and began bringing things inside the house. -
bruh ragger is the equivlent of my neighbors dog)
Delilah kept looking over to the other house. But then decided that she should stop so she didnt look creepy. Her mom asked her something that she never heard so she never answered. She turned around to see her slightly irratated mom, she quickly said "sorry did hear you" with a slight nervous smile.
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