Angelic
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:31pm
Thread Topic: Angelic
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Look Im a terrible person and ive had that drilled into my mind since I was six okay. Im sorry I make things worse for my friends before I ever make them better. Im a screw up and I accept that. Im scared of people in real life and my depression consumes my mind and...Im sorry okay. if you still hate me Im okay with it.
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I don't hate you.
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Yeah...Im sorry for ruining your time to soap with other people...Ill be in the lounge.
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Don't apologize.
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I feel like I should and I ruined another thread of ours...
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Well you said you don't like people saying sorry to you, so don't feel like you have to say it to me.
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*mumbles* because its the only thing I can say...
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Then find something else to say. I don't want your apology. No hard feelings, but I meant what I said when you left. You've got to stop pushing everyone away with your 'hm..'s and 'I screw up everything's.
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I can accept that...I accept Im a bad friend to you and...I guess we arent anymore...But I still...feel like I was a terrible friend from the start. I push people away to keep them safe from myself, but people stil come near me...and I guess...This is probably the best option.
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I never said we weren't friends anymore. But I don't think I want to be if you can't stop drowning in self-pity and expecting others to be sympathetic. You might mess some stuff up, but so does everybody else. Just deal with it. And you're not protecting anyone from anything by pushing them away. You're not a weapon, you're not going to kill someone if they actually get close to you. All you do by isolating yourself is annoy the hell out of people.
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Im protecting them because one day Im actually going to harm myself so bad that Ill never wake up from it. Im protecting people from what I will do. Im going to hurt people because of it. Now you know why I do this, so do alot of other people now. but...Im just gonna go for a bit...try and clear my head of the mess Ive made. Im starting to accept everyone screws up.
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People are already gonna hurt if you do that, Anri. You don't get it. We already care about you, so pushing us away isn't going to do any good.
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Well Im sorry I cant stop the inevitable for me. Im trying to get it okay people dont care about me, my parents and other family members dont give two s---s about my interests or anything. I dont understand why people care okay? I just dont.
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It shouldn't matter that they don't care, because I do. So does Heph. So does Nick. So do other people. What about us? Doesn't it mean anything to you that we care?
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I dont understand it okay? It makes me so confused and...and I dont know what to do. Not having anyone care about me for a long time left wounds that wont heal, I...I...I dont know how to act when people care. thats why I screw up alot when I tal with Nick or anyone else...
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