I kinda realized why I was so depressed back then.
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:17pm
Thread Topic: I kinda realized why I was so depressed back then.
-
Haven't you realized that I haven't really whined about life since I went and came back from Mexico?
There's my answer. There it was, all this time. I missed my homeland, I missed the little ranch and all the animals. I missed the photographs of my brothers, the boys I won't ever see again, the photographs of Mary and I, I missed my friends that actually cared about me, and so much more. My family, my neighbors, the friendly strangers. I missed everything.
The years I've spent here in USA.. I couldn't take them. Everything was so different, the change was so quick that it was overwhelming and it depressed me because I couldn't fit in quickly enough. Everyone here was so mean and racist because I couldn't speak English well enough.
Mary and my bros had it easier.. They were born in America, they were taught English before they were sent back to Mexico.
But I was the sickly one that had to be born in Mexico, and I wasn't taught English because we weren't expecting to have to go to America. But with a change of events we were pretty much forced to go.
And I go back to my home.. And it's like I was never sad, it's like everything I would cry over disappeared.
I was so happy, you guys. I was free over there, everyone remembered me. And when they called me 'gavacha' or 'gringa' over there, it didn't matter. I knew they were being playful with me, and it made me happy to be called that.
And more importantly- No English! I could speak Spanish all I want, and no one would make fun of me because I had lisp, because they knew my ancestors are from Europe.
I don't really know where I'm going with all of this, but just remember it has nothing to do with you guys (if you ever think that, that is), it's my environment. I realize it's because I miss what I once had. -
Aw Alice, I'm glad you've gotten to go back to Mexico then! You know, I have always looked up to you so much for not knowing English very well to becoming so much more proficient then even so many here in America. You're so smart and anyone who ever made fun of or still makes fun of you is freaking jealous.
That's exactly how I felt in Hawaii, like that's when my terrible depression happened. We had to suddenly move and I was placed somewhere I had no connections and felt completely out of my element. I hated it. .3. I hope you get to go back to your homeland and stay and be happy. I want to stay in touch somehow of course, but I want you to be happy and content in your home. ^_^
Someday you truly have to take me there. I want to see a ranch and the animals and the friendly people. I want to show not all Gringos are stupid b----es and idiotic morons. I want us to hang out and really enjoy life. So I hope and pray we get a chance to meet someday. :3 -
I'm glad for that too, God knows what I would have driven myself into if I hadn't gotten rid of my depression.
I never really thought I spoke English so well, but thank you. That coming from you really makes me feel that I can speak the language well. ^^'
The things moving do is terrible, but I understand you couldn't help it because you were a part of an army family. I'm really sorry to have heard that Hawaii was bad for you, and that you felt out of place. >> It's a terrible feeling, I know.
There was a way for me to get internet in Mexico, and if I ever do move back, I'm using that one way. I just didn't go ahead and do it when I went because I was so busy. ^^;
I will take you, just watch. .3. I want you to see for yourself that it is a very nice place.
Also, I do want you to show that too. I know that everyone only acts like they like Gringos, but if you go they will find out for themselves that they're not just b------s that use us as maids. .3. You're the perfect example of a great Gringo-kun.
And of course to hang out and enjoy life, there are so many places to go ahead and do that in San Juan. ^^
One day we will, I promise. :D -
That's good, depression sucks. xP
You really do. :D
I know right, and thank you. Moving can be so difficult, and the homesickness is just ugh. I love how over time I used to wonder how I'd ever get past those hard times but somehow, we get to where we need to be in the end. :'3
Awesome~ ^^ Dude then with Ting we'd make up the North American continent. :D
I can't wait. From what I've seen it looks so pretty there, and like it's a community where people care about each other, instead of some of the places I've been in America. .3.
I shall be the coolest Gringa in Mexico~! xD
And I shall continue on my Spanish learning. :D
This thread is locked, therefore no new posts can be made.
