Mixed feelings
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:17pm
Thread Topic: Mixed feelings
-
There are bad things happening that are my fault.
There are good things happening for the wrong reason.
There are innocent people being hurt that I cant help.
There are habits that need to be broken and others that need to be made.
There's a life that I feel like I'm stuck in and that it's slowly suffocating me. -
eep. I hate all those feelings :/ xP
-
There are good things happening for the wrong reason.
My girlfriend's mom is trying to talk with my family, to try and get my girlfriend to move in with us.
The only reason she's doing that is because my girlfriend's dad is an abusive drunk.
There are bad things happening that are my fault.
I am in a long distance relationship. On a completely different note, I am failing several classes in school. Because I'm failing, my family is considering taking away my electronics, and I'll lose contact with my girlfriend.
There are innocent people being hurt that I cant help.
My mom just found out that my step dad has been cheating on her. He dissapeared, and she moved out of state to live with a friend because she doesnt have the finances to live where she does.
There are habits taht need to be broken and others thatn eed to be made.
I am a terrible procrastinator and dont turn in homework. That's why I'm failing classes.
I also dont sleep at night, which makes me sleep during school and fail even worse.
There's a life that I feel like I'm stuck in and that it's slowly suffocating me.
All of this is going on and I'm expected to assume the responsibility of all of it. I havent had a day of peace in years and I dont know how much longer I can keep this juggling act up. It's given me stress related insomnia, and no matter how hard I try, f it isnt perfect, everyone I know seems to be disgusted in me and look at me like a pitiful failure. -
wow. D: that all SUCKS. I can relate to what you said with the 'bad things that are happening that are my fault' and the 'habits that need to be broken and others need to be made' I'm in the exact same situations with THOSE. but the rest I dont even know what you can do about :///
-
I have a councelor that I can go talk with whenever I want. And I have a friend who I can talk to about this kind of stuff, but neither one of them can do anything about it, or even really suggest anything I can do about it.
I used to abuse myself. When I was younger I used to bite down on my arm until I tasted blood. Just last year, I used razor blades to keep tallies on my arm and draw shapes in my stomach and legs. I kicked the habit for good last fall. But with the way I've been feeling lately, I've been staring at my old razor alot more often. The councelor doesnt check your body, and my friend only checks my wrists periodically. I could do it and no one would know... -
at least you have people you can talk to about it.. I have people I can talk to but I usually dont. like saying how I really feel and all that stuff isnt something I do very much.
its such a bad habit though dont do that.. I have a good knife and also these broken mirror pieces that I was making a thing with. dont get back into that habit, I've done that recently. -
The people I have to talk to either will guilt trip me and make me feel worse and let me know it's all my fault, or will be so passive that you cant tell if they're listening or not.
And I'm not going back into that habit. I couldnt keep up with it and it doesnt fix anything. But there's nothing wrong with day dreaming or thinking about it as long as I dont put it to action. It's actually healthy for people with stress to imagine their options. -
oh xP thats not good then
ok. thats right it doesnt fix anything. and I guess thats true.. but I feel like the more you think and imagine your options the more you want them to happen and the more you'll be tempted to make them happen.. -
the more you think and imagine, the more you're reminded why you shouldnt.
-
ehh.. I think it can go both ways .__. it really depends
-
and the lovely feeling of knowing that even after a half hour, only one person noticed an obvious cry for help.
-
:/ damn, and I noticed that no one else noticed too. I have to go now though, bye James, I'm sorry I cant really help you out, I'm so bad at giving advice and stuff, but I'll always listen.
-
It was nice to be able to get it off my chest. Thank you Carla. :) Goodnight.
-
Jesus Christ, dude...I don't know how to respond...best I can do is leave you with a quote
Everything will be alright in the end. If it's not alright it's not the end. -
It's always darkest right before it goes pitch black...
Pages:
- 1
- 2
This thread is locked, therefore no new posts can be made.
