I cried today
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:17pm
Thread Topic: I cried today
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:'/
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I hug you. *hugs*
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awh why? :(
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XP that sucks.What brings you down?
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*hugs*
Through late may and early june of this year I left my girlfriend to be with another girl. I did it because I thought I needed to get out of a long distance relationship. The other girl was closer so I started dating her. Just trying to break up with the first girl was very violent. She couldnt comprehend what I was doing and was trying everything she could to make it work.
In early july her and I met up. We had made plans before we split to meet up in disney world and so much was already paid for it was too late to back out. We met in disney world and from the second I laid eyes on her I knew i had made a mistake. I had screwed up. I kissed her the second day we were together. I had explained to her how much I regretted my decision and how much I hated myself for being so stupid.
Only a couple weeks after I went home I broke up with the closer girl. She had already mentioned it and I just pushed it on through. My long distance girl and I started dating again and we promised to never bring up that time.
Today we talked about it. She explained to me the pain she had gone though. She told me about how as soon as we broke up, people I used to consider my "friends" started asking her out. And she turned them down. She didnt turn them down because she didnt like them, or because they didnt look good. She turned them down because she believed deep down in her heart that I would come back to her. She waited for me.
When she was finished telling me about what all she had gone though and how much I meant to her, I realized that I had left scars on our relationship. Scars that no matter how much I try to fix will always be there. Scars of paranoia, despair, agony, fear, anger, lies, and pain. No matter how hard I try I will never be able to fix the damage I have done.
After her and I stopped talking, I cried. I cried because I knew I had nearly destroyed the most perfect thing in my life. I cried because I was too blind to see a good thing when it was in my face. I cried because I had what so many people wanted and I let it go. I had no idea how lucky I was to get her back. I almost lost her...
I'll never make that mistake again...
Even though I cannot possibly ever do enough to fix the damage I've done, I will continue to try. She deserves better than me. But she chose me. She could have any guy she set her mind to getting, and yet she chose me. How could I be so stupid? How could I screw up so bad? -
Aww I'm sorry Heart... *hugs*
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AWWH. reading that almost made ME cry. and I never cry.. last time I did was horrible.
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I almost wanted to cry too...Aw dude ;~; *hugs*
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I love her more than she'll ever know.
More than I can ever show.
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