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I can't tell who's fronting today. I just exist.
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Wow holy shoot there's other plurals on here??? /pos
[ sorry about the lack of front btw, i get how that feels :( ] -
Sorry if you aren't and I assumed wrong, though, I got excited- /gen
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No, I am, actually!
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Cool! I don't meet many outside of Tumblr and Discord spaces so it's actually really cool! :D
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So, yesterday, I think, is when I came back from the void of nonexistent living. Let me explain what occured and why my weekend was so bad. Trigger warning: Death, sexual harassment.
Friday is when it all started. I went to work and immediately got triggered. I clicked in, went to my department to work, and immediately got hit with a story by my gossiping coworker graphically about how her neighbor almost killed himself. Aszerè had to front until the shift ended. He was about to take a break when he heard arguing going on off and on for hours, so he remained. Then I had mental health group to attend and people were talking about coping with change like death, grief, and other things that triggered me. Second half of group, they were talking about knives, which triggered me again. After that, I got sexually harassed by a child on Discord and then he tried to frame me saying hi harassed him, but he didn't know I had evidence. I quietly gave my screenshots to the mods and left the group so I didn't have to deal with that again. Then, in another group, I got harassed in plain sight by two men talking about me in Hindi, making fun of me for using plural kit. Maelyn came out and almost got us banned. She fronted off and on Saturday, so I couldn't interact because she was too hostile to be trusted to interact with anyone. Since Saturday, it's been hard trying to tell who's fronting. It's like nobody wants to be here and there's just a placeholder here.
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Phantom also fronts, but it would be best if he didn't. Between him and Maelyn, I wonder why Aszerè hasn't done anything. But maybe he's just tired. It's like he's disconnected right now.
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I've been too depressed to do anything. I really needed therapy today, but nobody was available. I haven't been coping well with any of this. I can't shake this feeling of hopelessness and feeling down. This whole weekend, all I did was sleep and lie in bed, drowning in my thoughts.
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I don't feel okay.
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