"can't the future just wait?"
Thread Topic: "can't the future just wait?"
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i'm so f---ing pathetic, istg-
not even in like, a good way, tho idk how someone can be pathetic in a good way lmao -
i really f---ing hate myself tho
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why can't i just- be an adult?
i don't f---in' feel like one, even tho i'm technically one-
i just- i feel like i'm lagging behind... -
i mean, i kinda am? but like, plenty of ppl take gap years, yk?
but i also don't have a job, and i only have my permit-
by now i should have a job and should have my license and should be working on getting a car, but no-
i'm here, sat on my ass watching f---ing cartoons -
it's really pathetic that i can't get a job and that my mom has to practically force me to get one-
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i am pathetic...
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i just need to f---ing grow up, i think...
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so tired...
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is it bad that i've thought abt starving myself to make myself skinnier? like, many, many times?
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sometimes i think it could be a good idea, to be skinnier-
not even like, do it forever, but even just for like, a few weeks, or a month- -
i just want to not hate my body for once...
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this is kinda giving an AITA question thing but this isn't really that, so-
i srsly just need to vent abt this bc idk who else to go to so i may as well just rant abt it here:
i used to have a huge crush (still may have one?) on a childhood friend of mine. our families would hang out all the time so i would hang out with him a lot and i'm close with his family, especially his sister. but it's kinda obvious that (from my knowledge) he never liked me anyways. i really do wish i had told him, but now i've kinda lost my chance.
now he has a girlfriend, who had originally friend-zoned him when he first asked her out. and, idk if this is me being jealous or what, but i can't really see the two of them together? considering they don't even go to the same college and live like, 4 hours away, i'm surprised they're trying to do a long distance relationship when he said he was trying to find a relationship with someone at his college. and maybe i am just jealous. i liked him for ages, but it is my own fault, i never told him i liked him or anything. now i kind of wish i did tell him, even if i were to get shot down or friend-zoned.
anyways, just- just needed to get that off my chest, i suppose. -
i had another audition on sunday, newsies at a college near where i live
i'm really excited bc there might be a good chance i get in, considering there were only 38 ppl in total who auditioned, and there's like, 34 parts in the show plus ensemble-
so i'm just anxiously waiting for results and for the dance call next sunday -
i'm scared- i'm so nervous, oh my god-
i can't wait until wednesday, i need to know if i'm gonna be apart of the show T^T -
time will only tell- bt I believe in you and your talent, I think you can do it. if you do, break a leg. if you don't, the show might not be worth being in anyways.
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