"can't the future just wait?"
Thread Topic: "can't the future just wait?"
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i don't deserve to be able to complain abt s--- like that, especially considering i put myself in the f---ing situation. it's my own damn fault i got it taken away.
and i'm not depressed or s*icidal, i'm just being a b---- abt things -
i really am just an attention seeker, ig-
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i need to be constantly stimulated or something, so i don't think abt s--- like this anymore-
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i just feel so f---ing pathetic, honestly-
maybe there is something else wrong with me -
i don't even deserve anyone's pity- i'm just, again, being a b---- about it all
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i don't want to resent her, but it's kinda hard when she doesn't trust me and doesn't allow me any privacy (which, to be fair, i suppose i haven't given her the benefit of the doubt or any reason to let her trust me, but it's not my f---ing fault i want to have friends online and like tv shows with gay ppl in them-)
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getting back in the gym, maybe i won't feel like such a fatass anymore-
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i need a best friend. or best friends.
honestly just, anyone who i can confide in abt stuff and can count on to keep me in check if i do smth wrong or bad or smth- -
i honestly don't think i have a friend like that?
like, i have friends and stuff, but i don't think i even really have anyone i can really "confide" in -
i have friends, but they're all church friends who if i told them stuff going on with me, that stuff would most likely somehow get back to my parents (not intentionally, i'm sure my friends would never tell- but who knows, there could be some sort of slip up or their parents just somehow hear abt it) and i would rather not have my parents know abt my business-
my mom already butts into literally every f---ing aspect of my life and takes away anything that see sees as wrong and immoral or whatever, so i'd rather not-
and i have friends from school, but i've graduated. i don't get to see them that often anymore. and they all have jobs n social lives n stuff, so i can't really see them much (and i don't wanna seem like a burden-) -
i just want a bsf i can go get ice cream with at 2 am when we both can't sleep-
someone who i can just, share my life with, like- -
i also really want a bf, but yk, that's not happening any f---in' time soon-
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i just feel so lonely...
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like, ik i'm introverted, but i want a bsf
i want to go out n do things
i want someone to share my life with, whether it's romantically or not
idk what to do... -
i sure love to stress myself out, don't i-
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