Shrouded despair and forgotten ambitions
- Locked by Br0wnieBunny on Nov 23, '24 12:03amReason: thread owner request
Thread Topic: Shrouded despair and forgotten ambitions
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Do I have to be torn to see who will care?
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Went back to back habits today
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bad*
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sorry if you don’t anyone to post, but are you okay? do you wanna talk about anything? i’m always here if you need to chat :)
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Same as Clueless, if you need to talk, I'm here
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^^ You’re all good, idm
Thanks
Ugh I wish bandaids worked on hands then I could stop picking-
At least I ate today after a bit -
The bandaids just peel off, da fuk-
Petition to make a better alternative and erase negative feelings please and thank you -
I hate feeling like a bad person
Home by Cavetown on repeat is a good coping strategy tho -
Everything I say is cringey too like posting this will be cringey and I will regret it anyway but I just need a place to look at my thoughts ig-
Like it’s comforting seeing them on a post that barely anyone will check or see, like I know that barely anybody will see it bc yk who fckin cares at this point but the fact that’s it’s out there is a comforting thought it’s weird
I am no good socially but it’s fine we love
We don’t actually but we’re all good self doubt is a b---- -
I’ve been on holidays a full week
Today is Monday
This time next week I’ll be back at school
Why am I still burnt out
And why do I still feel like I’m a b----
Like for some reason I can get support from my friends and stuff, even my sister who grabbed my fidgets for me last night when I was upset and for some reason I’ve been thinking about that a lot (not a bad thing) but I’ll still feel like I’m burdening people? Like now I know a buncha people don’t think I’m a bad person, but it’s what I think about myself, which isn’t as easy to change as I thought -
I don’t really think it was my upbringing. Like as the older sibling, ig it was always harder for me to express emotions to ppl bc my parents were mainly focused on my sister. And problems with my mother didn’t start getting bad until maybe 8 months ago, something like that. Before that I was just… lonely? Like before I got to high school, then moved high schools, I never had many friends. And that’s standard, coming from a small primary school. Some kids are really jerks, and I hung out with a lot of people when I was rlly young who I’m only just realising were not so good people. Some people are even still trying to reach out to me, especially that one really toxic girl who I’ve blocked everywhere. I remember coming out to some of my friends last year and every one of them reacted badly except for some (some teenage boys and girls are b----es) or they just forgot about it the next day.
Idek I’m just trying to figure out where trying to be self confident stopped working and I started feeling like this. Like is it normal for a teenager to think/feel these things? Does everyone want to, iykyk?
Part of me wants to be neurodivergent, just so I know that this isn’t normal and I can be fixed. So that I know I can get help and I won’t feel like this eventually. If it’s normal then there’s nothing really anyone can do. I just have to hang in there -
Also respond to this if you want idrc I just have nowhere else to put this
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Well, I want to, iykyk. But I'm also neurodivergent soooo...
Didn't you say you have anxiety, or am I just misunderstanding things? Because if you have anxiety, adhd, depression (and other stuffs but this is the stuff I think you probs have lol, but iM nOt a tHerApiSt) then congratulations, you are indeed neurodivergent, and you're not alone.
I'm so f---ing sorry that you feel this way. Those friends that didn't support you are a s s h o l e s. You're not a b----, or a bad person, but I understand feeling that way because of what people around you are thinking. My personal opinion? Screw them. Life is a birthday party, and the main goal is to make the birthday kid happy by getting them an epic present. If the other kids like the present, that's bonus points, but if not, don't beat yourself up wishing you made them happy. It's not about them.
I get feeling lonely, and like nobody accepts you. I get not having self confidence, or not setting boundaries with people that you should really cut out of your life. I get wanting to... you know what. But please don't. I'd f---ing miss you. A lot. -
Fair
I think I self diagnosed myself for like a day or two before I went ‘yeah nah that’s not valid’ so I was just like ‘welp I get anxiety so let’s just call it that as an emotion not the condition bc I need to put a label on this s---’- idek anymore man, I want to get tested but my mum’s like ‘nAh yOu’Re FiNe’
Those people were, I agree, a--holes. I’m just mad at myself for not realising it sooner, and for letting them be a--holes. Ig I was just scared (bc if I did leave them then I’d have even less friends). It’s just me getting into my own head at this point. That’s a good quote
I’m trying, man, I’m trying. I’d miss you too -
Have your therapist do a brief checkup/mental health test if they can. At least at my therapy place, it's just a: answer these questions on a scale of 1 to 4, one being not at all and 4 being all the time. How often do you worry that things will take a turn for the worst?" and questions like that. If you get 3s or 4s on almost all of them, they put you on a list to get tested. Idk how that would work with yours tho
I get it. Dude, I have the same thing going on lol. Yeah thanks, I stole it from a book xD
Good, I'm proud of you. AwwWWWWw
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