Shrouded despair and forgotten ambitions
- Locked by Br0wnieBunny on Nov 23, '24 12:03amReason: thread owner request
Thread Topic: Shrouded despair and forgotten ambitions
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Ig…
I’m f---ing overthinking rn like is this person actually a good friend- (I’m not talking about allira I promise lol we’re like bestie boos) but this guy is pissing me off rn and like friends have fights ig but this GUY-
Idc if anybody responds to this ig, mainly just the posts I posted last night I’d prefer if someone responded to than this -
Everything’s good now
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Back onto how I’m not good enough for my friends- lmao
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I came home from school this afternoon. I asked you how you and my sister were. You said you were both great.
I walked to my room, did homework, FaceTimed Allira. You seemed to be in a good mood. I was too.
I had dinner, played on my phone, then came into the loungeroom to charge my laptop. You called me a girl. I was a bit irritated but otherwise fine.
When I was putting my school jumper away you came in and yelled at me for being negative and rude. I asked you why you thought I was, because I didn’t know I had been.
You yelled at me and said that I had to empathy for you and my sister. You snapped at me and told me I had to sleep somewhere else if I proceeded to cry.
I cried that I didn’t know what I had done wrong, and had a panic attack in the bathroom.
When I went to bed you snapped at me again. You said I had no empathy and I shouldn’t be inflicting my dramas onto you.
I still don’t know what I did wrong. I’m in bed, crying, trying not to wake my sister. I have my phone under the covers and I’m scared you’re going to come in and take it. I’m so scared of you, mum. I don’t know what I did wrong. -
I wish I was good enough for you. I wish I could be your perfect daughter, because I try so hard. I love you and I want you to love me too. I don’t know what I did wrong and it scares me because I’m scared one day you’ll do more than just yell at me.
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OMFG what?
So you were in a good mood, got misgendered but rolled with it, and then got yelled at for not empathizing and told you'd have to sleep somewhere else if you keep crying? Am I missing something, because that's NUTS. No parents should do any of that to their f---ing kid!!
And I may be speaking out of turn here, but it's not normal to fear your parents. Here me out, maybe call a suicide prevention hotline? I know it's extreme, and it might not work for you, but a lot of the time they are licensed therapists (or at least volunteers with the best intentions, but normally nationwide services have more professional people) and speaking from experience, they're some of the best people to talk to when you actually feel like you're going to kys, or it you just need to vent. I don't know if there's something like that in Australia tho -
That’s what I was thinking :’). It would’ve been different if I snapped at her or something, or “acted out” ig, but I don’t poke the bear unless she’s done something. But like none of that happened so I’m sitting here going wtf-
There most likely is tbh lol. I was thinking about getting on the kids helpline website (I’m pretty sure they have a chat feature) last night but I didn’t, mainly because I was terrified of being caught on my phone, which isn’t really ideal. I’m tryna think of places I could call the sph bc I’m not allowed out alone -
Yeah, you didn't do anything wrong from what I can see... That's weird as hell
Ohhh makes sense -
Yeah, it’s scary if anything man. I think we can tell who isn’t the favourite child here-
Yeah. Like I have nowhere private to go so yk :’)
And my mum has barely looked at me this morning so idk if that’s good or bad. -
Ig her pretending nothing happened is better than her still being mad at me
But thanks, mum, for reminding me I can’t trust you. I swear I was about to start trusting you because you hadn’t yelled at me in maybe a week. Thanks for the friendly reminder. I wouldn’t want to confide in you yet again and have it end with me having a panic attack because it’s “not your problem”, even though you asked. -
can- can i just like- adopt you and make you my child- /hj
srsly, like- no one should feel like this around their own MOTHER, like- i myself definitely am in a somewhat similar position, bc i don't trust my mom with my s--- either, but the way she's treating you, and then just completely dismissing it and pretending it never happened? so f---ed up, like-
it infuriates me that someone can treat their child like this, and go to sleep at night. like, holy s---- -
^We're on the same page my friend. Alexi, we're taking you now.
Like, what the f---?! Who just pretends it doesn't happen? Not even a 'you ok?'?! UGH that makes my blood boil -
Please do guys I’m dying over here :’)
I was the one who had to bring it up. She was texting me about how I’m not empathetic and I’m just a rude human apparently. I hate it but yk -
So um I spoke up about it kinda but whenever I do that I either get my phone taken away or get a good yelling at so I never really learn ig-
But um yeah hopefully it doesnt go bad- can y’all adopt me now pls :’( -
I’m so f---ing stupid
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