Safe Place
- Locked due to inactivity on Feb 4, '24 3:54am
Thread Topic: Safe Place
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WOAH its october 13 already thats crazy
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FRIDAY THE 13TH NO WAY AHHAHAJHHAJ
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my sleep schedule is so bad,, its 7 am (almost) and i still havent slept bro
im so hyped for morning coffee tho omg its so good i -
WAIT LOL I FORGOR ABT MY OLD ACCS š i wan check up on them rqq
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yk ima jus stay awake :d probs'll fall asleep at like 2 pm or sum and cause the downfall of my sleep schedule again tho LOL š
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i fell asleep at 9 am yesterday and woke up at 3 pm
i ruined my sleep schedule again. i mean it was never really good to be completely genuine, i would stay up until 5-6 am and then wake up at 9 or 10 am, but im definitely ruining the week by doing so -
man sometimes i feel like a disappointment. even something as simple as this, i just feel severely guilty for no reason. but then when an actual problem arises, i don't feel guilty. im just there, just blank, just calm, because i just tell myself subconsciously everything'll work out in the end
yk ive stated that previously. "everything will work out in the end but now it doesn't seem like that", i posted that in this thread a lot of times somewhere -
i wish i was still the me from nearly a year ago, i was much calmer
i wish she were here to help me out. im prouder of her than i am of me and yet i know she'd be disappointed hearing this -
i don't know who i am anymore. i try to be different people at one time and see what fits me. ive tried to be lots of different variations of past me and everything just falls out
i can be optimistic, but i overdo it and get tired of myself
i can be analytical, but not for long; i can never balance logic and creativity out
i can be funny, but i overthink things and screw over my chances over building connections
i can be balanced but i get confused -
my chances were screwed over already, im just being delusional here. ive had a lot of people ive cared about throughout my life and ive always done something that's pushed them away. or they just left completely and im left pondering why out of the blue they've become a ghost
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if i could restart my life, i would. i could make much better decisions. i could avoid people who f---ed up my life in my childhood. i could do so many things that could have built up a better foundation
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unfortunately time traveling doesn't exist; so im in a forum, in a thread, in a page, posting about useless matters that won't matter to me when im lying on my deathbed
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planning the rest of my future out is an option too. unfortunately i have no control until we move out of this house
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now of course i have online friends. im so thankful for them, dont think i'd be here without them. they keep me stable
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i havent spoken to one of them dear to me in about 3 days because he went on vaycay :( rip in temporary pieces
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